Kazuma
by dokichan
Summary: Kazuma Kuwabara needs help. His past is after him but he's keeping his secrets, how can the others help him? Kuwabara Kazuma-centric.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Kazuma Kuwabara of Yu Yu Hakusho. I don't anyone or anything in Yu Yu Hakusho. 

AN: this story stars and centers on Kuwabara. Angst. At least that's what I'm aiming for now. 

Chapter 1 

It was funny. The boy looked almost vulnerable leaning back in his chair with his feet on the small desk. Not that he would ever let anyone see him like that. Drowsy and unaware, no, none would ever see him like that, because when he was like that, he _was_ vulnerable. 

The carrot topped boy sat thinking, no contemplating is more like it. His thoughts ran in circles. Occasionally he even made remarks to himself or burst out in a grim laugh or a harsh cry accompanied by tears though he tried hard to keep himself in check. He was ill, as he had always known. Not physically, but his psyche had seemed to disappear quite awhile ago. Not that he missed it, not that he cared, not that he even noticed. It wasn't because he was dumb, as some thought, it's just that, he wanted to forget, he had the power to do so, so he did. 

Then all his hard work, all his forgetting had come to an end. Maybe they weren't memories but just dreams. He hoped so. He gagged in his tears. He didn't want to remember. Everything had been so well he thought he might be able to get over it by himself. Yusuke, Hiei, Kurama, Botan, Koenma, Yukina.........team Urameshi, it had been going well. Yusuke and Hiei did insult him but it was his own fault afterall. He had tried to hide his worthlessness from them by substituting it with pride. He knew what they would think if he told them............he trembled. He'd never told anyone, nor was he about to. 

Eikichi was curled up in his lap twitching every so often when Kazuma shook or trembled. Eikichi.......he loved that cat. His father wouldn't of liked it-like it, he corrected himself. He would just have to learn to adjust. Surely his father wouldn't......but then his mother and sister were there all the time before and that didn't stop him. It didn't matter, Kazuma could and would take care of himself. He had his spirit power after all. He desperately wanted to ignore the fact that he was the weakest member of team Urameshi. And where did you get your power from? A voice taunted in his head. 

A tear splashed onto Eikichi and she stirred. From his father, his power came from his father. He should know more than anyone, after all, his father was the one who had first introduced him to spirit energy. Very painfully too, everything his father taught him was painful. So many lessons, what if he forgot one? Would his father be mad? Kazuma was starting to have a panic attack. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing though he could do nothing about the erratic beating of his heart. He felt sick, he could practically feel the cold sweat rolling off him, even though he knew from experience that there was no sweat. After so many years, so much time, if only.......but nothing he could do would stop it, his mother had told him so when she saw the look on his face. His sister was even upset with him for bringing the mood down when they told him. 

Tomorrow, he comes tomorrow. How could his mother just take his father back like that over so many years, they hadn't even talked. He idly stood from his desk and placed the now awake Eikichi on his bed. He would need to get someone to take care of Eikichi for him, he'd die before he put her in a shelter or abandonned her. He started ripping pictures and posters off his wall. His father had never allowed them back then and he doubted he would allow them now. His father would be back tomorrow evening and all he had on his mind was how to get out of seeing him, at least for the first day he was here, he wasn't legal to move out yet. Kazuma had very few possessions so it was no trouble to clear out the pictures, all of which had been given to him, he had owned a camera once but it was stolen, then broken. He had saved all his brithday and christmas money for three years for that thing. That's when he had started fighting, he was so scared and when he won he was overwhelmed. His first fight was over that camera. 

He wondered if Kurama would let him stay over. He had never stayed there before but.....well, maybe Kurama already had plans. In fact, Yusuke, Hiei and Kurama had probably made plans without him. He didn't blame them. Both Yusuke and Hiei were still mad at him after all. Hiei was always mad at him and he forgot what Yusuke was mad about, probably something involving Keiko.Besides even if he did stay at Kurama's he'd first have to get his phone number from Yusuke, or go up to him after school and ask. Both were suspicious. 

I could stay at the park he reasoned with himself. He'd still have to get rid of Eikichi though, he didn't like the sound of that. He figured Eikichi could spend the night with him in the park if it wasn't too cold and then he could just give her away in the morning. And if it was too cold? Maybe he could just wrap Eikichi up in a blanket. The nights were pretty cold this time of year but maybe they could manage. 

He and Eikichi could watch the stars together and it's not like he wouldn't see her again, he could visit whomever he gave her too. He didn't want to give her up. He knelt on the floor and brought his eyes level to the sleeping cat on the bed. He reached out to stroke her. What would he do without her? He choked on his tears. 

He switched positions and leant against his bed. At least his father wouldn't use her to get to him. Would he use his sister? He remembered that threat, it scared him. Whenever his father even mentioned his sister's or mother's name he considered it a threat. Kazuma did whatever his father wanted then. He hated himself for that. 

The boy drew his knees up to his chest and folded his arms across them then rested his head against his knees. Maybe his father would leave him alone? It had been years. Most people wondered why he liked being homely, because if he was ugly then no one would touch him. He thought he was ugly. All the girls he asked out turned him down, he knew they would. He had never asked a girl who he wasn't sure would say no. He liked Yukina though, she was nice. Obliviously he didn't like her and, like everyone else, she didn't like him. They got along though. He got along okay with Keiko he guessed, and Botan too, seeing as she wasn't a normal girl- she was a spirit. It sounded stupid but whenever he got turned down he was satisfied. 

Although he did love, he loved his mom, his sister, Eikichi and other animals. He loved cats. He cared about his team and all the rest as much as he cared about his mom and sister, he supposed that was love too. He would die for anyone of them on his list, even Eikichi. Eikichi was probably the one closest to him, he told her everything. He figured she probably didn't understand but that didn't matter. 

That feeling, that dirty feeling had come back ever since they told him his father was coming back. No, that was lie, he knew. Whenever he thought about it, his father, his past, he had always felt dirty. He'd always go into the shower and scrub for hours. He'd be all wrinkly and pruned by the time he came out. Once or twice he had scratched so hard that he'd bled. It's over he reminded himself. He noticed with discomfort that he had abandonned his old theory of it happening only inside his mind. 

He wanted help. Could he really fight off his father if he tried it again? But if he told, his father had promised to kill him and hurt his sister and mom. He shouldn't believe him, should he? He could protect them, but did he want to take the chance? He remembered that his father was at least as strong as Urameshi. Maybe he was little and just thought his father was strong. He hoped so. He had read in a book once that it was called child abuse. He had been abused in more ways than one and he was no child anymore. And he did believe it was fault. He could have refused, could have tried harder to stop him. Not many people would peg him as a reader. He wanted to know what was happening to him though, he wanted to know what his father was doing to him. He had also remembered wondering why his father never hit him where it could be seen and if he did accidentally, he blamed it on Kazuma's own clumsiness. His father wouldn't have to worry about that now because Kazuma had the reputation of a fighter. Another fight, another bruise. 

He wanted to cry, so he did. Infact, he cried himself to sleep. 

Eikichi yawned and padded to Kazuma's pillow and wound around his neck, purring. 

AN: A strange view on Kazuma Kuwabara I know, but this WILL NOT be a one shot, I love him to death. I had to write a story for him too. I hope at least one person reads this.   
  



	2. The Park

AN:Hello! Thanks hithere, I love Kuwabara Too!!! Anyway I'll let you get back to the story. 

Ps. I think that Okuba was the name of that one in his gang who had the part time job when Kuwa was beat up and stuff, I think. Anyway this chapter is dedicated to Hithere because that was the only review I got but I'm going to keep writing anyway! 

Disclaimer: I don't anything Yu Yu Hakusho. 

Kuwabara hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, he'd been plagued with nightmares. Now, on his way to school, he shivered. Partly because he was nervous, in part because it was cold. He hid Eikichi in his school bag, as soon as he was out of sight he took her out, in fact he was holding her now. He had left for school early. He didn't want to see what would happen when his mom and sister found the note on his desk explaining that it was one of his friends birthdays and he had already promised them he'd be there and so he was spending the night at their place. 

He made sure not to specify any one friend. His sister would probably call around but she'd be out of luck. He guessed she would figure it was someone she had never met, she'd probably be suspicious when team Urameshi and his school gang didn't know. He hoped she'd figure it was a girl or something. He also hoped she thought that maybe Eikichi just went out, but he knew that his sister knew that he never let Eikichi out without him after the alley fight incident involving a rival gang. Hey, he could have taken her along if he was meeting a girl, at least he hoped that was a believable scenario. 

His sister would be out to get him, he at least hoped that they wouldn't find the note until after school or else he would have to skip. He still had no idea where he could stash Eikichi until after school without it looking suspicious. If he skipped school altogether there was a chance the school might call his house and then they would find the note and they would have a longer time to look for him. 

As he approached the school he hoped that one of his gang members was skipping today, he'd trust them with Eikichi, they were willing to get beat up for her before. 

"Hey, Kuwabara!" He turned to look and saw Okuba running up to him. 'Perfect' he thought. He sighed with relief as Okuba, a member of his gang who he had once helped out, came huffing up. "You,uh...wanna skip?" 

"Okuba, could you do me a favor?" 

"What is it ? Some one messin' with our gang again? On our territory? While I'll show-" 

"Actually, I was wandering what you're doing?" 

"Dunno, thought we could skip and go to the arcade or somethin', you up to it?" 

"Can't, I'm planning on staying out tonight so I figured I should go to school now, but I do need something taken care of." 

"Sure, name it, after that horrible week with that other gang, I owe you one." 

"I was just wondering if you could take care of Eikichi while I'm in school." 

"No prob' where is the little girl?" 

Just then Kazuma's book bag meowed. Okuba started laughing. Kuwabara, sick with apprehension, forced a smile onto his face. Kuwabara unzipped his bag and picked up Eikichi. Okuba took her from him and she climbed on his shoulder. 

"If you have any trouble, you know like another gang trying to... whatever, just come calling" 

"I'll protect her with my life Kuwabara." 

"Okuba.....thanks. It means a lot." 

"Sure. Promise you'll skip with me sometime next week at least?" 

Kuwabara nodded as the bell rang. 

"See ya then Kuwabara!" Okuba yelled as he ran off, kitten in hand. 

"Ja." Kazuma whispered quietly and made his way back into the school. 

He entered the class as the last bell rang. Half and hour later he couldn't concentrate on his work and his hands were shaking. Not that he did his work that much but today he needed a distraction, and he did want to graduate. He looked around the room. He started to sweat, he wanted to lay his head on his desk. He felt nauseous. His vision was darkening. 'I have to leave' he thought and repeated the mantra in his head. The bell rang, his head snapped up to the clock, had he really been sitting here a full hour? He grabbed his books and tried to steady his shaky legs as he journeyed to his locker. He undid the lock and hurriedly stuffed his books inside. He practically wobbled to the nearest exit. 

When he got outside he leaned against the school and closed his eyes drawing in a deep breath. It helped. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, then he started to walk off in the direction of the closest arcade. 

Kuwabara was checking his third arcade when he found Okuba at a pachinko machine. Eikichi was perched on top of the machine meowing loudly trying to fit in with Okuba's louder shouts. 

"Okuba!" 

Okuba turned his head, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 

"Yo! 'ey Kuwabara" He said waving so hard it looked like he'd fall over. A small smile crept to Kazuma's lips as he made his way over to them. 

"I knew you'd come! Couldn't concentrate 'ey? I can't either, I promised my ma that I wouldn't skip any next week though. I should really stop smokin' these things-cost too much." Okuba finished as he offered his cigarette to Kuwabara. 

"Nah, I'm not in the mood, you work today?" 

"Right after school." 

"How're things going?" 

"Great! My mom's recovering fast, maybe in a few months or more she'll be able to work from home." 

"I'm glad, mind if I hang out with you and Eikichi awhile?" 

"We'd love it, our gang hasn't seen much of you lately." 

"I know, I'm sorry, hey Okuba you mind if I ask you a personal question?" 

"Shoot." 

"You won't be offended?" 

"Of course not, it's you!" 

"What happened to you old man?" 

"Don't know, he kinda just ran out on us. Took all the money, everything." 

'I now how you feel' Kuwabara thought silently. His father had taken all the money when he left too. His family was poor now but that would soon come to an end. His father would be home tonight. 

"Do you remember him?" 

"Yes, I remember that bakayarou, he'd cheat on ma, he even beat us sometimes. I was the one to put a stop to that once I joined your gang and learned to fight. What about your pa?" 

"Never laid a finger on my ma or sis." 

"Lucky you." 

'Yes,' Kuwabara thought bitterly, 'lucky me.' 

After that conversation Kuwabara hung around the arcade until Okuba had to leave for work. 

"Come on, Eikichi, let's go to the park. My sis and mom don't know about it so we'll be safe." 

Kuwabara made his way through the streets to the park. He found a remote place near the middle of the park after half an hour of walking. He was glad he never told his sister or mother about this place. Team Urameshi would sometimes meet here. He sighed, did he blow it for good? Would they still count him a member of Team Urameshi? They were supposed to meet sometime this week, he wondered if they would try to get a hold of him, that wouldn't go over to well with his mother. 

He lay back flat on the ground watching the clouds with Eikichi resting on his stomach. He seemed frozen in time and hours later was pretty much in the same position. His eye lids were becoming heavy and he heard murmurs coming down the path and a group of people settle on the bench. Only when he heard them address him by name did his eyelids snap open. There were a row of trees separating him from the bench, no one could of saw him. 

It was getting dark and for a moment he took on the terrible notion that his dad had come to look for him. He calmed somewhat as he strained to hear and recognized the voices. Koenma? 

"......even though you don't have a mission yet, I'm sure you'll probably have one by the end of the week. I expect you to train, don't forget it." 

Botan sweat dropped. 

"Perhaps they should use this time to relax, Koenma. After all, they have worked very hard on the last couple of missions." 

"Nonsense. They like to fight anyway. Make sure to tell Kuwabara to train too." 

"I'm not telling that stupid oaf anything" Kuwabara recognized the voice as Yusuke. 

"Don't look at me Koenma, I hate him, get Kurama too." Kuwabara almost laughed, that was definitely Hiei, he supposed it was insulting but.... 

"You shouldn't hold such a grudge against him, I bet you guys don't even have a reason for hating him." Ah, the always kind Kurama. 

"I, Hiei, don't need to be justified for hating him." 

"I hate him because he's a jerk and stupid and he always insults me and-" 

"Yusuke." 

"You know, he even ditched this meeting. He probably did that on purpose and then told his mom he was going out." 

"Didn't you say that his mom said he would be back since it was an important occasion? He probably wouldn't miss it if it really mattered to his mom." 

"Blah, Kurama you ruin all my theories, but fine, I don't care." 

"Well, I'm going to check on him tomorrow, just in case. I'm sure his mother would appreciate it if we took him home when we saw him." 

"Whatever, I'm hungry, I wanna eat and I gotta go meet Keiko. You guys wanna come? We're going to the arcade and.............." 

Kuwabara tuned out the rest of the conversation. He blankly realized it was cold and proceeded to stuff Eikichi into his jacket. He faintly registered that they were leaving. He would be home tomorrow. What would his father say if he saw Kurama? Kazuma never had friends before. Kuwabara nervously settled against a tree under the dimming sky. He slept. His dreams were not so comforting. 

AN: sorry if it wasn't very well-written. At least I reached my goal of one review. If you have any suggestions just say! Should I make it longer? I think I'll make the next chapter longer. Thanks for reading!   
  
  
  



	3. I'm cold!

AN: I can't believe it, I got more reviews, and more than that, no flames! Thank you Genesis Saturn, I really appreciate your review. And thank you Celey, I'll try to write Yusuke better (sorry he was a little OOC, team Urameshi will be in the story more I'm just trying to integrate it in) and thanks for advice I'm glad you told me.Thank you Rising-Stars1, the reason I wrote this is because I couldn't get enough Kuwabara stories! Thanks for the encouragement  Hungry Sano! (I like your name. I'm jealous now). Sorry for starting everything with thanks or thank you. And sorry for making this such a downer Silverchild of the winds, don't worry the ending won't be like that. It'll be happy. It's just a little angsty (or as angsty as I can make it) in the next few chapters, but everything will turn out okay. 

And about Yusuke's character I was trying to capture his personality, it was meant to be said like he didn't mean it. You know in that one chapter when Botan tells him Kuwabara heard him because Yusuke cared about him, and he's like 'don't gross me out', trying to be tough. Sorry it never got out that way. Anyway, who really reads these things anyway. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. 

Chapter 3 

He woke up shivering, he groaned. It was still dark! He could feel Eikichi sleeping in his coat, at least she wasn't cold. What time was it? It didn't even look close to morning. He had such a headache. He'd dreamt and it had left him disoriented even though he couldn't recall his dreams. He was sure he knew what they were about as they had left him with a cold feeling of terror. He shook it off. Which brought him to his next immediate problem, he was cold. So so cold!! It was freezing out here, he could barely think with the wind whipping in his ear. 

'At least it isn't snowing,' he blanched. Now that he thought about it, not only was he cold, he was hungry. Eikichi stirred. A while later her little furry head had snaked it's way through the neck of Kuwabara's coat. 

"Nya~n" 

"Yes, kitty, it's cold, I agree" 

Eikichi meowed again. And again and again and again. Kazuma sweat dropped. 

" ' kichi......" 

Meow. 

"No, we-" 

Meow. 

"But-" 

Meow. 

"Oh, fine, I'm going okay?" 

....... 

"Thank you!" 

Kuwabara shoved Eikichi back into his coat and pasted a scowl on his face. As soon as Eikichi was back in his jacket he smirked and, in spite of himself, giggled. He felt good. Cold, hungry, but good. He could just pretend tomorrow didn't bring such ill-tidings. He felt as if he and Eikichi could live forever in this night. He knew he couldn't but that didn't make any less of an attractive thought. 

Hmm, now where would he go? It had to be somewhere warm, he wasn't quite up to visiting anyone yet. He'd get to that into the morning, unless he couldn't find a warm place. It shouldn't be a problem, except that he had no money. Most places checked this time of night to make sure it's occupants were spending. Arcades and Casino would throw him out. A hotel was out of the question. Where was he supposed to go? The homeless shelter? Well, he couldn't if he wanted to, he didn't even know where any of them were. His only option was to go find a friend to stay with. There wasn't many more places to go on his gang's turf. He wouldn't want to be caught dead on a rival gangs turf without backup. Urameshi might be able to handle it, but Kuwabara didn't want to take his chances, especially with Eikichi with him. 

He really didn't want to disturb anyone this time of night, but he was cold! He already told himself he wouldn't go to Yusuke's of Hiei's. However, Kurama's didn't seem a very good idea now. Kurama was polite, but what if he got into trouble for Kazuma? He lived with his mother, didn't he? He would never go to Hiei's, he might let him stay but then he would owe him. His pride wouldn't allow that. Hiei was already a demon, therefore (in Kuwabara's mind) a better fighter than he, no way was he giving Hiei something more to hold over his head. He doubted Urameshi's mom would care. He knew Yusuke longer than the others at any rate. They had a sort of agreement, a grudging respect. It didn't exactly seem grudging anymore, but what else was new? 

He didn't really feel like fighting with Urameshi right now, but figured he was safe. Yusuke had already told Kazuma's mom (or sister, depending who answered the door when Yusuke came looking for him) that he wasn't with any of his normal circle of friends. As for them fighting, Yusuke'd be too tired, because when he went to sleep he didn't wake up until he was good and ready. Unless he wasn't asleep yet, or if he was on one of his rare light sleeps. Maybe he could leave before Yusuke woke up so there wouldn't be any questions. Yusuke was a heavy sleeper, but what if he slept so heavy that he didn't open the door, his mom would but did Kuwabara really want to ask her to stay the night? That would be awkward. 

Eikichi's wiggling brought him back to reality. He brought her out of his coat and kissed her head. He laughed, 

"Okay, okay, we're getting there Eikichi, just need to turn around." 

Soon he found himself, kitten and all, in front of Yusuke's apartment building. He took a deep breathe, he would do this. He was cold. Very cold. Therefore....he would do this. He sighed happily as he got into the warm apartment building. He started up to Yusuke's floor. When he got there he vaguely noted that a bulb had burnt out at the end of the hallway, the same one that was burnt out from when he was here last. It made him feel a little more in tune and he turned his attention to Yusuke's apartment door. He knocked, he waited, he knocked again. Finally he heard slow footsteps make their way to the door. He stood back and braced himself, and the door opened. 

"Kuwabara?" Slurred a sleepy Yusuke. 

"Uh...hi." 

"What are you doing here?" 

"Uh....well, I was wondreing, um, if -well, you know- uh...." 

"Yusuke! Who is it?" 

"No one, ma, you can go back to bed, it's just Kuwabara." Yusuke shouted over his shoulder. 

"Okay, night then, he can stay just don't be so loud and shut the door!" 

Yusuke turned to look at him and Kuwabara fidgeted nervously. He was glad for the interruption when Eikichi once again burst out the neck of his coat and gave a pointed, 'meow'. 

Yusuke blinked. 

"Hi...." 

"Eikichi." 

"I knew that! I was just...surprised....you gonna stand out there all day?" 

Kazuma shut the door behind him quietly as Yusuke led him into the kitchen. 

"You want something? you look cold." 

"...sure." 

Yusuke put on a kettle then leaned against the counter. He didn't exactly look tired, that was bad, or was it good? Was he still mad at him? 

"Hey Kuwabara, I'm glad you came by," Kazuma sweat dropped, it was probably 4 o'clock! "I wanted to ask you something." 

"Uh, okay." 

"What was your mom talking about when she said you'd be back for an important occasion? She was looking for you, you know that right?" 

"...yeah." 

"So what I'm wondering is, if some sort of special occasion or whatever is going on then how come you're here?" 

"It's personal." 

"So why are you here?" 

"Eikichi was cold?" 

"Where were you?" 

"The park, geez what is this, twenty questions?" 

"Idiot, you shouldn't of stayed there unless you wanted to freeze to death, why didn't you come sooner." 

"......" 

"Tea's ready." 

Yusuke took two mugs from the cupboard and poured hot water from the kettle in them. 

"Green?" 

"Huh?" 

"Tea." 

"Oh, sure." 

Yusuke placed the cup on the table in front of Kazuma. 

"I didn't mean to wake you up." 

"That's okay, I couldn't sleep." 

"Oh." 

"You tired?" 

"Of course not. Why would I be?" 

Yusuke snorted. Just like Kuwabara to let his pride answer for him. Kazuma also found Yusuke reasonably unarguable. 

"Dope, you're lying. You can use my bed, I'm not very tired." 

"I told you, I'm not tired!" 

So much for reasonably unarguable. 

"What you don't trust me with your cat? Is that it." 

"No, I'm just not tired." 

"So you came here, not to sleep, but just to what, exactly?" 

"Hmph." 

"Kuwabara, look, if I have to, I will drag you to that bed. I know you're tired, I'll probably be going to sleep in a little while anyway, so you might as well just go to sleep." 

".....fine." 

"Thank you!" 

"Come on, Eikichi." 

Eikichi meowed once more and followed Kazuma out of the room and into Yusuke's. 

Exhausted, he lay down on Yusuke's futon and fell asleep, once again embracing Eikichi. 

Forty five minutes later Yusuke quietly slipped into his room holding an extra blanket and pillow. He laid them parallel to his futon a meter away. He sighed and settled down, a little kitten awakening and rubbing against his legs. He smiled down at the little cat. Eventually whimpering and mumbled words met his ears, he glance over at where Kuwabara was sleeping. Kuwabara whimpered again and let out a struggled choke, he looked like he was trying to get away from something but his movements were muted by sleep. When the whimpering got a little louder Yusuke finally snapped out of his trance and closed the gap between him and his friend. 

"Hey, Kuwabara, wake up." Yusuke gently nudged him. 

"Kuwabara, wake up." He shook him a little more roughly this time. 

Kuwabara emitted a moan as he pushed himself up from the futon before he turned his back on Yusuke and held his knees to his chest. For a minute Yusuke didn't know if Kuwabara had heard him. Then he noticed Kuwabara trembling. Was he crying? 

"Kuwabara?" 

Nothing. 

"Are you all right?" 

"It's nothing" Kuwabara answered in a hoarse voice still not turning to meet Yusuke. 

"Was it a nightmare? Do you want to talk about it?" 

Kazuma shook his head and Yusuke sat down on the futon next to him. Aha! So he was crying. Yusuke could see the silver trails the tears left on Kazuma's face. Then suddenly, he didn't know what to do. He knew how to comfort Keiko, but at least he knew why she was upset,_ and_ she was a girl. He couldn't imagine Kuwabara's reaction if he hugged him or something. He'd probably hit him, though he could block it just as easily. Bottom line, he just didn't know what to do. So he patted him on the back as if he were a dog or something. He felt stupid. Kuwabara, however, took no notice. And so the two boys stayed sitting like that for over half an hour, Kuwabara crying and Yusuke sitting there with him in silence. 

Kuwabara had finally finished crying and was chagrined to find Yusuke still in the same position, sitting next to him, as he was half an hour ago. Kuwabara sniffled and swiped at his eyes to wipe his tears. Once Eikichi sensed he was stable again she came and curled up on his lap, purring. 

"Sorry." Kuwabara stated weakly. 

"Are you okay now?" 

Kuwabara started to answer, but not trusting his voice fully yet just nodded. 

"Do you need to talk?" 

"It's all right. I'm fine." 

Yusuke looked like he wanted to say something more but backed off. 

"Well, goodnight then, if you need to, you know, talk or anything you can wake me up." 

With that said Yusuke crawled back over to his makeshift bed and slipped beneath the covers. Taking one last look at Kazuma's form, which was now by the way under his own covers, Yusuke ran his hand through his hair and lay on his back, closing his eyes. Soon both boys were off to sleep. One strong, proud and loyal, the other sad, broken, and vulnerable. 

AN: you like? I like this chapter, I wanted to end it here, though it's not quite five full pages. I'm open to any suggestions. Thank you all again for reviewing! Sorry if there's any grammar or spelling mistakes. Oh, and Nyan is the sound a cat makes in Japanese, you know, instead of meowing. Sorry about all the comma's, too. 

  
  



	4. Goodbye Eikichi

Thank you for reviewing Jaid Skywalker! Sorry about not being discriptive enough, I was trying to work on that before, but I was afraid I'd get the details wrong. Like before I wanted to put Yusuke's floor, apartment number, etc. And I wanted to describe the room but I was afraid I'd get it wrong if I guessed because I don't really pay attention to that stuff in the comic (I know, I know, I should pay attention, I even forget the name of their highschool. Do Kurama and Hiei go to school with them? I don't know things like that since I've only read up to chapter 15 or something in the Manga.) Thanks for the suggestion, I will do my best! And thank you Flying-Whippet, I wish I had a b/f like him too, I'd love him to death! Then we would rule the world (lol, just kidding). Thanks also to Everqueen, I think why I love Kuwabara so much is I read the manga first, I've never even watched one Yu Yu Hakusho tv episode, my friend who does watch it thought it was wacked that I liked him. I don't know I just loved him when he stood up for Eikichi and got beat up for his gang, lol, _anyway _enough of my rambling, but one more person I'd like to thank, Celey thank you for pointing me in the right direction! I haven't watched the anime and up to where I've read in the manga, Kurama and Hiei haven't shown up yet. I"m so depressed, I want the Cartonn Network! Anyway, the reason Kuwabara's so depressed is because his dad is coming back, won't be pretty, that will likely be happening in the next chapter becuase it's anti-climatic or whatever, and could anybody guess what his dad did to him?__

__

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho 

Chapter 4 

Kazuma slowly opened one eye; when he didn't recognise his surroundings he slid open the other. He noticed a lump in the middle of the room, was that a person? Suddenly he remembered, he flushed, a little embarrassed. Then he got an evil smirk on his face. 

Kuwabara was sure not to make any sound as he slithered his way over to where Yusuke was sleeping on the cold, hard, wooden floor. He looked very devious and if Yusuke had been looking he probably would of already been out the door. 

Before Kuwabara could execute his attack on the sleeping form he saw an orange furball fly at him from the corner of his eye. His yelp was cut short as Eikichi buried her claws in his arm and climbed onto his shoulder all in the space of a few seconds. Kazuma's teeth were clenched. How come no matter what he did, what he told her, Eikichi always missed the fact that this HURT. He wasn't a scratch post. He sweat dropped and nearly fell over as Eikichi started licking his face. 

Finally he composed himself and got back to task at hand. He turned into a devious madman once again. Now what could he do? Water? Nah, too typical. Feathers and honey? That would be great but he didn't want Yusuke to wake up before he got back with the supplies. Then he remembered something that had always irked him. Whenever Eikichi was trying to wake him up she'd always poke him with that little wet nose of hers. It bugged him so much, he didn't want any kitten snot, well it wasn't really about that, he just didn't like little cold, wet thing nudging him when he'd try to sleep. 

"Eikichi, I got a job for you...." 

He grabbed Eikichi from his shoulder (a painful extraction) and placed her next to Yususke's head. Kuwabara chuckled evilly. He took Eikichi and rubbed her nose against Yusuke's cheek. His brow furrowed and he shifted positions. Kuwabara did it again. Yusuke swatted at the nothingness in the air. Kuwabara was pleased when he put Eikichi's nose once again against Yusuke's head and she started licking him. Yusuke murmured and looked uncomfortable and soon Kuwabara could no longer hold in his laughter. 

"Wah~" Urameshi said trying to spring up into a fighting stance. Kuwabara tried to step away and look innocent but his attempts were spoiled ironically by Yusuke's blanket. Yusuke had kicked it off most of his body so it was now only tangled in his feet. When Yusuke sprang up the blanket hindered him and brought him down. Unfortunately for Kuwabara he was also standing on the blanket and went down with it too. 

Yusuke's mom burst in his room, hearing a loud thump, to find a previously giggly boy and her still sleepy son entangled on the floor. She blanched. 

"Uh..." 

"Ma?" 

Yusuke said as he and Kuwabara continued to try and extract themselves from each other and the blanket. 

Yusuke's mom stood dazed. 

"Right well, I'll just go...do something.....work. I'll see you....later." She said as she exited the room looking a little embarassed. 

"Er, sorry, I....fell." Kuwabara said innocently. 

Yusuke, still not in on Kazuma's little wake up call, wiped his face. 

"Eww, my face is wet." 

Kuwabara started laughing. 

"Hey! That's not funny, it's gross!" 

"Oh, don't worry, Eikichi does it to me all the time. She's my own special little alarm clock." 

"But I'm still tired! I want to sleep! I don't need an alarm clock!" 

"Oh, don't be lazy! Do something, at least go shower." 

"You go shower!" 

"No, you!" 

"NO, you!" 

"NO, YOU!" 

"NOOOO, YOU!" 

"FINE." 

"Fine." 

Kuwabara paused, "I'm not showering." 

"I don't care. Let me SLEEP!!!!!" 

"Get up, Lazy Bones." 

"Ugh, it's too early." 

"I swear you better get up right now or I will poke you until you do." 

"Don't you ever SHUT UP!" Yelled an irritated Yusuke as he threw his pillow which landed squarely in Kuwabara's face. Kuwabara glared at Yusuke and threw it back at him, but alas, he missed. 

"Fine, I'll get up." 

"Finally! Thank you." 

Yusuke was grabbing cereal from the cupboard and Kuwabara was stroking Ekichi at the table. Yusuke lazily grabbed two bowls and served himself and Kuwabara. Kazuma practically inhaled it, considering he hadn't ate in a while. He was hungry yesterday but vouched for sleep instead. Their reverie was broken by a phone ring. 

"Hewo?" Answered Yusuke, mouth still stuffed with cereal. He swallowed. He walked over to the table and sat down then turned to Kazuma. 

"Hey, Kuwabara, it's your sister." 

Kazuma paled but shakily grabbed the pale yellow phone, Yusuke studying him every bit of the way taking note of his shaking hands and deathly pallor. 

Kazuma winced as his sister screamed in his ear. 

"Get over here NOW!" 

"I can't now Shizuru." 

"I don't care what you have to do to get over here, just do it." 

"like I said, I can't. First I've got to drop off Eikichi at my friends." 

"What?" 

That caught her attention, but unfortunately only for a little while. 

"I am going to come over there right now and get you." 

"It's seven in the morning could you at least wait until noon." 

She continued yelling at him and he hung up the phone. He loved his sister and she loved him. He knew how much this meant to her, but she didn't know the half of it. She'd get over it. They usually never had any serious fights and it made him feel weird. 

"Yo Kuwabara, what was that about?" 

"Nothing, I better go home." 

"What were you saying about Eikichi?" 

"I...I'm giving her away." 

"What?! Is this the same Kuwabara who beat up a rival gang almost by himself for that kitten?" 

"I'm not allowed, okay? I just want to find her a good home before I go home." 

"But-" 

"I have to go, okay?" 

"I'm just trying to help, okay? Geez, won't you listen for a minute? If you want I can find Eikichi a home, which can also be temporary if need be, in fact I already have the person in mind." 

".......okay." 

"Oh, just give her here, you better go meet up with your sister. She sounds on the verge of murder." 

"Thanks Urameshi." 

"What? that's all I get?" 

"Oh, get over yourself." 

"Tell me how is goes!" Yusuke shouted over his shoulder at Kuwabara's retreating form. Now kitty, you are going to love who you get to stay with." 

It meowed and stretched it's paw out toward the door. 

"Don't worry, he'll be back for you. In the mean time I want to introduce you to your new host for the next few days. His name is Hiei." 

AN: Sorry it's so short, thanks you for all the reviews and sorry if there was any story flaw, I'm open to suggestions. 

  
  



	5. Weird

Thank you all for reviewing! I don't know exactly what you mean Riye Link/Reue, but thanks for reviewing, even if you didn't like the story. And thank you doubly Silverchild of the Winds, Poor Yusuke his dad left! Yes, I figured he would be understanding. (it's like too bad my dad won't leave, my parents were supposed to get a divorce....yeah, _anyway_, gotta love your parents.) And thank you more for the advice, it is a scary thought- Hiei taking care of Eikichi, but hey I had to include him in the story somehow. This chapter's going to be angsty! (hopefully). Thanks again. And thank you Genesis Saturn . You called me a kid! What if I'm forty? Lol, thanks for the encouragement ! I really appreciate it! I glad you like the story. Thanks to you too, Celey, Yusuke is a little crazy in the morning (o.o^) I know it'll be a tough to pawn Eikichi off on Hiei, but I'm sure Yusuke'll manage. Thank you for reviewing, I'm glad you did. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. And sorry for taking so long Hithere, forgive me! I just wanted to make it good. I re-wrote it three times. Well you know, third time's a charm 

Discalimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho 

Chapter 5 

Kazuma stood, scared stiff, inside the doorway to his apartment. He was exactly how he remembered him. Big, imposing, scary........he hated the way he looked at him. For a moment they just stood there staring at each other, one with an oblivious look of terror, the other a look of amusment. Kazuma wanted to run, to hide, to do anything to get away. 

Shizuru pulled Kazuma inside the house, 

"I'm sorry Dad, I don't know why he's being like this." 

"He's probably just nervous at seeing me again is all." Replied Kazuma's fathers cool voice. It seemed to have a charming effect but it made Kazuma want to puke. He hated when he talked like that. 

"Shizuru, if you don't mind, I think I'd like to have some time alone to catch up with Kazuma. Then maybe we can meet up with you and your mother for dinner." 

"All right, me and mom can go grocery shopping. Sorry again about Kazuma." 

"That's fine." 

His father's eyes gleamed. Soon Kazuma's sister and mom were off to the market. Kazuma sat nervously fidgeting at the kitchen table. His father was making tea. 

"So tell me Kazuma, are you keeping up with your studies?" 

"Yes." 

"Shizuru said you were part of a gang." His father sounded almost menacing, venom lacing his words. Kazuma got the impression that if he answered wrong his father would explode. "Is that true?" 

Kazuma never answered but instead stared down at his hands. 

"I see. So you think you're tough, eh?" Kazuma's father stared down at him. 

"No....." 

Kazuma was suddenly struck on the head with a tea cup, the tea scolding his head. He whimpered. 

"Good. I don't want you to forget it. Things have changed since I was last here and I don't like it. You will do what I say, when I say, understood?" 

"Yes." 

"I have a name." 

"Yes, Jay." 

'Jay' stared at Kazuma. 

"Do you remember the games we used to play?" 

Kazuma was caught. Should he answer that? He could feel the blood trickle down the side of his head. He weakly shook his head in the positive and felt nausious when Jay's grin widened. Jay, he hated Jay. Stupid Jay and his stupid name and his stupid games. 

"Well I'm glad you remember, I thought they were quite fun." 

"I..I won't let you." 

Jay sneered. 

"You'll _do_ whatever the hell I tell you to do." 

"No." 

"Yes you will." Jay's demeanor suddenly changed. "Now tell me, do you have any friends?" 

"No, Jay." 

"Good, and I want you to stay away from that gang." 

"Yes, Jay." 

"I'm glad we understand each other." He paused. " My, my Kazuma where did you get that big cut on your head?" 

"I slipped on the table and the tea fell on me." Kazuma said like a little kid forced to memorize a passage. 

"That's right, and you're lucky it doesn't need stitches." 

Kazuma barely registered what Jay, his father, was saying. What about team Urameshi? What about his gang? He couldn't just avoid them, the only way to avoid Urameshi was if you dropped off the face of the Earth and even then he had a pretty good chance of finding you. What if Yusuke found out? What if Hiei and Kurama and his gang found out? They would hate him, they would be disgusted with him. He knew they would because he even felt that way about himself. He wanted to die. 

He had just agreed with everything his father had told him. He couldn't. He wouldn't. What could he do? His father hadn't threatened his family or friends. Yet. Maybe he could put up with this, as long it didn't get any worse. And if it did get worse he'd fight. He could kill 'Jay' with his spirit power. But what if Jay had more spirit power than Kazuma? Jay had used his spirit power to hurt Kazuma before. What if he had gotten stronger? What if he could beat Kazuma? Kazuma was shaken from his reverie when Jay reached across the table and slapped Kazuma on the head on his freshly made cut. Kazuma wanted to howl, it stung! He brought his hand to his head, wincing. Jay laughed. 

"You should have been listening." 

"Sorry." 

"You are to call me father around any prying ears." 

"Yes father." 

"Well, aren't you going to say anything other than 'yes, father' or 'no, fahter'. It's getting damned annoying." 

"...." 

"Well?" 

"....where have you been?" 

"Wouldn't you like to know. I missed you though." 

"Missed hurting me you mean." Kazuma felt sickened. Missed him? He sure didn't miss Jay. 

"Yes, that most of all. You remember all my lessons I hope." 

"Yeah." Kazum wanted to sink into the ground and never come back. 

"Tell me." 

"No." 

"You'd rather we relive it. I agree, it would be fun." 

"No." 

"Stop with the one word answers boy, it's annoying. Here, take your jacket off."Jay reached over and started pulling at Kazuma's coat. 

"Take your hands off me." Kazuma nearly shreiked, though it came out as nothing but a low whisper. "It you ever touch me again, I'll kill you." 

"What makes you think you can Kazuma." Jay answered in an equally low whisper albeit a little more vehnomous. 

"I hate you." Kazuma whispered as tears of hopelessness filled his eyes, and they gleamed making him look dangerous. 

"I figured as much Kazuma. I knew you would. I hope you know that won't stop me." 

"I can stop you." 

"You? Don't make me laugh boy. You have grown quite a bit taller, uglier too, but you're still no match for me." 

Kazuma couldn't answer. It was true, wasn't it? He didn't care if it was, he was just so sick of this, of everything. 

"I'm leaving." Kazuma announced getting up. Before he could reach the door a firm grasp cuahgt his wrist and twisted it painfully. 

"Leave and die." Jay's voice whispered in his ear. "Now be a good boy and don't make so much noise, you wouldn't want the neighbours over here." 

Jay let go and Kazuma lost his balance. Kazuma curled up in a ball on the floor. 

"Get up off the floor, weak fool." Jay kicked him and Kazuma heard something crack. Jay was losing his temper. 

"I said, Get up!" He kicked him again and it made Kazuma's leg go numb. 

"Get UP!!!!!" Was all Kazuma heard before he black out due to a kick in the head. 

Next thing Kuwabara knew he was in bed and it was morning. He almost could have pretended it was a dream if he hadn't woken up in casts and if he hadn't woken up in the wrong bed. Everything was white. He could hear faraway voices and footsteps. There were also white curtains swimming around him. He was in the hospital. He vaguely wondered how he got there before buzzing the nurse. In the next few minutes a jolly old woman came and pulled the curtains to the side. 

"Hello there Kazuma. I heard you were in a gang fight. I was told by your father that you weren't accepting any visitors. I told the visitors that but they're still in the waiting room, they wouldn't leave. Shall I send them in? You seem lonely." 

Kazuma nodded. He was nervous. 

"Nande Konnani doki doki shichau n darou." He whispered to himself. He lifted his head when he heard the sound of footfalls. 

In walked Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei. As soon as Kazuma's eyes hit Hiei he started laughing, almost to the point of crying, when he finally stopped. Hiei looked displeased and a little embarassed. 

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but Hiei, why is Eikichi on your head?" This brought a round of giggles from everyone, excluding Hiei, who glared. 

"So, oaf, how did you manage to get yourself here?" Hiei glared. Kuwabara suddenly sobered and turned a little pale. It did not, however, go unnoticed. 

"Was it a demon?" Asked Yusuke. "'cause I don't honestly believe a gang could touch you after all your training." 

"Are you all right though?" Added Kurama. 

"It wasn't a demon, I just-" 

"Then what was it?" 

"Uh, Yusuke, I think he was getting to that." 

"Oh, right, sorry. Thanks Kurama." 

Before Kuwabara could feed them one of his many prepared excuses they heard some shouting in the hallway. 

"He's my son! I say if he can or cannot take visitors!" In a few short seconds Jay entered the room with an apologizing nurse on his tail, who promptly left once Jay started glaring her down. 

Jay glared at all of the boys present in the room. Eikichi hissed and jumped off of hiei's head onto Jay's face. Soon Eikichi was flying out into the hall. 

"'Kichi!" Kuwabara, momentarily forgetting himself, screamed horrified. 

In a minute Hiei had Jay backed against a wall, blade at his neck.Jay was calm and collected, as always around company. 

Kuwabara held his breath. Jay pushed the blade away from his neck and walked over to Kazuma's bed and enveloped his hand in his own. 

"Whoever you are, I suggest you leave." 

"Who are you to order us too?" Yusuke shot back. 

"I'm Kazuma's father." 

"Liar! Kazuma doesn't have a dad."  
"Ask him." 

Yusuke turned to Kuwabara, Jay glared from behind Yusuke, a harsh reminding. 

"He's my dad." 

Kuwabara sounded ill and defeated. Team Urameshi for the most part looked stunned. 

"Sorry sir." Apologized Kurama. "But isn't Kuwabara old enough to make his own decisions?" 

Jay scowled. "No!" 

"Please go." 

As they left, Kuwabara looked ill. A blood soaked bandae on his head. His face a deathly pallor. 

AN: I know, it sucks! I can't believe it I re wrote it 3 times and they all sucked. I'm just not in my groove. SORRY, I'm sorry it sucked and that it was short. I never portrayed 'Jay' very well, and I don't like his name. Well I mean I like the name, it just doesn't fit his character. I'll be working on this story all weekend though. I AM SO SORRY. I know it was disappointing. Jay's character is slightly eccentric and a bit insane if anyone's wondering. He's also a horrible man. 

Oh, and .... 

Nande konnani doki doki shichau n darou 

Means.... 

Why am I so nervous?   
  



	6. Protect Myself

AN: Thank you Hithere, I'm glad you like it. I'm so happy I could cry!!!YAY! Sorry, I get too over excited. And thank you Genesis Saturn, I'm flattered, award winning? Probably not, but at least it's readable! I know, I didn't think Jay fit either, but I couldn't think of another name so I'm stuck with it now. I'll try to update more and make the chapters longer, thanks for the suggestion. And thank you Everqueen, I want Jay to get beat up too! Hiei should have.....oh, the possibilities...sorry, yeah....And thank you Riye Link/Reue, I'm glad you like my story! Thank you for reviewing, it means a lot. I love you ALL!!!!!! Thank you for reviewing! Thank you so much!!! (ps. Jay I guess would be pronounced Jah-ee in Japanese. Kinda like Trunks and Tohurunkas, sorry if I spelt that wrong.) 

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. 

Chapter 6 

Kazuma stretched. His wrist was broken and so were three of his ribs. However, he was still anxious to go to school. He wanted to see his friends again, Jay hadn't let anyone in since the last time and Kuwabara had never asked. 

Kuwabara snorted, 'Jay'. He had always thought his grandparents must of been a little strange in the head. His mother had told him his grandfather had named his dad. His grandfather had spent time in the West and was firm about giving their son a western name. Kazuma personally thought it was the ugliest name he had ever heard, though that could have been influenced by the person, not the actual name. 

Kazuma yawned and the nice, but talkative, old nurse came in to serve him breakfast. He had learned her name, Yoyuki, his second day in the hospital, it was only his third. He hadn't been to school in six days, though that was including the weekend and the Friday he had skipped out half way through. He missed Eikichi. 

"How are you feeling today Kazuma?" He smiled. 

"I'm fine." 

"They want to release you this afternoon. Are you ready and caught up in school?" 

"Yes, my mom brought it by for me earlier." 

"Are you excited about seeing your friends again?" 

He nodded as she put his meal of oatmeal and orange juice in front of him. 

"Now, you make sure you eat up, you may think you're strong but you still need your energy." They shared a smile, and the old nurse, Yoyuki, left. Kuwabara ate absent-mindedly and studied the scenery outside his window. 

His family had come for a brief visit yesterday. He figured they would come when it was time for him to check out. He gulped down his orange juice. He wondered what Team Urameshi was thinking. He wondered what they told everyone when he hadn't gone to school. If his gang heard the rumors of him getting beat up by a rival gang they would be out for blood. He was glad he had friends he could count on, he had a feeling he would need them. 

He pushed his tray aside and made his way to the bathroom. He was a little clumsy on his feet, he had twisted his ankle. He got inside and locked the door. He was looking forward to having a shower at home. He didn't exactly want to see Jay but he was pretty sure that Jay wouldn't do anything. When would he get the chance? Kazuma was positive, that if he had a second chance, he could have stopped his father. 

However, all these sentiments were lost when Jay stepped into the room. It was the first time he had visited alone after the mess with Eikichi and Hiei. Jay slipped in like it was natural for two people to be sharing a small bathroom. Kazuma had forgotten to lock the door. Kazuma had only come to splash some water on his face. He felt paralyzed as he watched his father watching him in the mirror. He looked angry. 

"Hello Kazuma." Kazuma nodded back a little weakly. "I have some things to discuss with you." 

Kuwabara's fathers voice sounded cold. He had a cruel glint in his eyes. He grabbed one of Kuwabara's wrists off the sink ledge and spun him around. He came closer and Kuwabara backed up, his back pressing against the cold off-white sink. 

"You lied to me. You said you didn't have friends." Kazuma looked horrified. "I might not mind this so much Kazuma if all your friends weren't boys." Kazuma nodded. 

"I don't think you understand." He roughly pushed Kazuma, hurting his already broken ribs. 

Kazuma tried gathering his spirit energy for an attack. Only to find it muted. By this point Kuwabara was terrified. Why couldn't he gather any spirit energy? He knew he was no match for the other man physically. Jay was just as strong or stronger than he looked. Kuwabara's fear gave way to confusion. 

"I've got a little something for you." Before Kazuma could register what was happening he felt a hard jab just above his side and a sharp pain flow through him so that by the end he lay on the floor gasping. 

"Remember that, don't you? It's a little something called spirit energy. You might have some if I guessed right. Unluckily for you I have the power to mute it and you and I both know that I'm much stronger than you Kazuma. No matter how hard you try I always will be. So please, if you want to keep living, never lie to me again." Jay gave one last shove at Kazuma with his foot before leaving. 

When Kazuma came back into his hospital room Jay was gone. Kuwabara positioned himself back on his bed, his spirit energy returning to him slowly. 

He sighed. It would be another few hours before he checked out. He was disturbed by this new discovery. He couldn't even protect himself. Jay could do whatever he wanted to him and he wouldn't be able to stop him. 

Kazuma needed help, then he had an idea. A gun! Jay might be stronger and have enormous spirit energy but he wasn't immortal. It would be self defense after all. His mother and sister would hate him. Who would believe him that his father attacked him? No one. That however, did not matter to Kazuma. All he wanted was to stop his father before he started. And if that did not work Kazuma would do the next best thing. Remove the victim from the victimizer, he would kill himself. 

Kazuma was sleeping when the nurse came with the paper work to release him. She tapped him gently on the shoulder. He looked oddly at peace. One eye slid open, then the other. 

"Good morning Kazuma, or should I say afternoon. Your family are on their way here to pick you up, I got the paper work right here." 

"Thank you and good morning Yoyuki-san." 

"Come, I brought you clothes so now you can change out of these hospital gowns and wear the clothes you came in with. They had to be washed, they were full of blood. How anyone could beat you up is beyond me, not that you're strong, but I think you are the sweetest and most polite boy I've ever seen in a gang fight." 

"Uh...thanks, I think." 

"I'll leave you to get dressed, you better hurry though. You're family will be here by the time you're done changing." 

Yoyuki left and Kazuma started freeing himself off the dreaded hospital gowns. He hated them, honestly, they looked like dresses. He slipped his old clothes back on and squirmed his way off the hospital bed. There was a sharp knock at the door and Kazuma hobbled over to it and flung it open. 

The old nurse smiled at him and led him to the waiting room where his family was. Shizuru was still scolding him about being in a gang in the first place and his mother went all teary eyed and vowed revenge on whoever had hurt he precious baby boy. 

The Kuwabara family loaded themselves into a small car and drove off from the parking lot. 

Kuwabara's mother eagerly reminded him that there was school tomorrow, she told him that she and Jay would be out for the night to go for dinner. Shizuru joined in with her chatter and scolding. 

Kuwabara lay his head in his arms, a headache already forming. He blocked out his sister and mother as much as he could. 

They pulled up to an apartment building and they all climbed out. 

"Oh, and Kazuma," Kuwabara's mother added, "you're grounded." 

Once they all got into the apartment and settled for bed Kazuma took a shower. It was refreshing. He now lay in bed devising plans to come into possession of a gun. He couldn't think of anyone he knew who could get it for him. If he asked the wrong person it might look suspiscious. 

He turned over, his wrist felt like lead and he was really tired. Earlier he had tried to scratch the skin under his cast and ended up with a pen, a marker, and a few sticks under there. One was poking him now and he was getting frustrated. 

Now who could get him a gun? He couldn't just go into dark alleyways and ask to buy a gun. Well, he could, but it went against his better judgment. He wondered it Koenma would throw him out of Team Urameshi, he wondered if his gang would hate him, he wondered if he would go to jail. 

Jail. At least he could defend himself there. It probably wouldn't be so bad. They'd probably send him to Juvenile hall anyway. There would go his future. He reasoned that his future wasn't looking so bright anyway. 

The way he figured it he had two choices. 

1) kill his father-or himself, end his future, but also end the torture. 

2) stick it out, they both live, endure torture but have a future. 

Kazuma was so tired, in a matter of minutes he had dropped off to sleep, mulling his decision over in his mind. 

The next morning Kuwabara awoke to an annoying beeping sound. Face muffled in his pillow he reached for his alarm clock. Once turned off he forced himself up and to the bathroom. He looked wearily in the mirror to find dark circles under his eyes. 

He had made his decision. He was going to get a gun. The thought of sticking it out was simply unbearable, simply not a plausible option. He could try but he would never make it. And what would his future be? His father would destroy everything close to him. There was also the fact that Jay could kill him before he moved out, thus ending his future there and making his endurance end in vain. 

With his grim decision made he collected his school supplies and left the house before anyone had even woken up. 

He walked along slowly. He was still tired and was fighting to keep his eyelids open. Occasionally he would bump into someone and get a few curses yelled at him. Little did he know the next person he was destined to bump into was Kurama. 

Kuwabara ran into another person, mumbling a barely intelligible apology before he was stopped by a hand pulling him back as he walked. He nearly stumbled back wards into a building wall before he caught his balance. He turned and was surprised to find Kurama with a mask of concern on his face. 

"Kuwabara, are you all right? You seem a little off balance." 

"I'm...fine." 

"Would you mind if I walked with you for a bit?" 

Kazuma shook his head. Kurama fell in step next to him. 

"We never got to ask you at the hospital, but what happened?" 

"nothing." 

Kurama knew he was lying but let it go. 

"Hiei's taking care of Eikichi now, did you know?" 

"Yes." Kazuma let out a little smile. 

"Why did you want to get rid of Eikichi if you don't mind my asking." 

"My father doesn't like animals." 

"He's put up with it so long, so how come he made you get rid of it now?" 

"Well, you see Kurama, he hasn't really put up with anything because he wasn't here." 

Kurama was confused. 

"Wouldn't he have to be gone quite a while for you to hide a cat?" 

"He was." 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" 

"That's all right." 

"But about at the hospital?" 

"My sister told him I was in a gang and maybe he thought you guys were it?" 

"Does that mean you're not allowed to see us?" 

Kazuma smiled bitterly. 

"I really don't think that will matter soon." 

"Why?" 

Kazuma never answered. Kurama looked over at him, a little worried. 

"Is something wrong? I feel that something's not right here." 

"Nothings wrong and nothing it not, not right." 

"Okay.......if you need to talk or a place to stay you can always ask me." 

"Thanks Kurama." 

"We better get going to school. Please don't forget my offer Kazuma." 

Kazuma nodded watching his feet. 

Kazuma spent the day in school. He did well, better than he had for a long time. He had gotten all his homework assignments finished and had nothing more to do. Needless to say some teachers were skeptical. After all, Kazuma had once been an F student. 

Kazuma had been tired all day, yet his work was top notch. He had his whole day planned out. He decided to start looking for a place to get a gun when his parents went for dinner. Jay disgusted him, leading his mom on like that. But he had bigger problems, like how he was going to get the money for a gun once he found one. 

His mind wandered back to the conversation with Kurama. Talk? He'd love to talk. It just wouldn't do any good. Kurama would probably be disgusted or laugh in his face. He stopped his train of thought right there. Kurama didn't deserve that, he knew him better than to say that stuff about him. Kurama was nice and polite, even if he was disgusted he would never let on. Kurama would sympathize with just about anyone. 

Suddenly Kuwabara felt depressed. He did want to talk, he wanted someone to trust, someone that wouldn't hate him. Fear prevented him from exploring the idea any further. He would rather just suffer than be looked down upon like that, to have people disgusted with him. Kuwabara's depression turned to anger and hurt. How could Jay do that? 

Kazuma softly impressed onto his mind that it was over. Over. O-v-e-r. He just had to deal whatever had happened by himself. No one would help him. He had only himself to blame. Of course, if Jay did anything that would totally change the situation. 

If Jay even touched Kazuma, Kazuma would kill him. Kuwabara found himself in the realms of hopelessness once again. The only way to protect himself, he was sure, was to get a gun. It didn't have to be fancy or new. As long as it got the job done. 

The school bell rang, signifying the end of the day. Kazuma got up and sluggishly made his way out of the classroom. Tonight, yes tonight, he would get that gun. Once he had that gun things would be in his hands, not Jay's. Once he had that gun, he would be safe, he would be free. At least that's what he told himself. 

AN: Sorry it's only a little bit longer, I'm improving slowly but surely (in the length of the chapters I mean). Sorry if it disappointed anyone. Thank you all for reading! Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.   
  



	7. Empathy

AN: Thank you al for reviewing! Thank you Silverchild of the Winds, about how his sister didn't find out. Well they were pretty little when Jay left, not only that (since she would have remembered something) but it was hidden, really. He never really did anything visibly damaging and if he accidentally did then he'd just blame it on falling down the stairs or something. Kazuma didn't tell because he was afraid. Poor Kazuma. Thanks also to crazy-lil-nae-nae, I do love to hate Jay, I'm glad you reviewed, thank you (like your name, too!). And thank you Hinooki Silvertail! I'm glad my story's actually readable. And thank you Dragon of the Rose! Wow, I'm my stories being considered for a favorite list, I'm so happy!!!!!! Thank you again for reading. And thank Jaid Skywalker for reviewing and answering my question, I was confused. I wish I was Hiei, lucky demon, he doesn't have to attend school. And now I'll answer your question. Yes, they are. I know it takes me a while to incorporate the characters, sorry about that. Keiko, Botan, Yukina, and Koenma (know he's not a girl, but he'll be appearing.) Thanks also Hungry Sano!!! Sorry for the hold up!!!!!!Will be in this story.Sorry for being a blatherin idiot so long, I'll let you get on with the story. (though most people don't read this part anyway). 

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. 

Chapter 7 

Kuwabara shuffled his feet, he had to see his parents off to dinner, he hoped he could persuade Shizuru to let him out of the house, if he couldn't then he'd just have to run. He needed some fast cash and a gun. He knew where to get the gun now. To Kuwabara's convenience it came out in a conversation without him even prompting it. He was just hanging around with his group, skipping the fourth class of the day. They were skeptical at Kuwabara's injuries but didn't say anything. Kuwabara took it as a sign when one of them mentioned a guy who'd gave them trouble. A drug-dealer who also sold other merchandise. Anything you could think of he could get his hands on. 

Well Kuwabara was in the hospital the guy started going around to elementary schools on their turf. According to Okuba and other members they 'smashed' his face in. Kuwabara didn't know what he was going to do but he had to see this guy, at least to figure out how much it cost. His name was Sachiha? Or maybe it was Hachisa. 

Kuwabara oomphed as he painfully bumped into someone and in his weakened state almost fell over. He needed to pay more attention. He looked over to see Keiko, he had to stop meeting people this way! 

"Oh, it's you, you should apologize you know, you could have hurt me." Keiko said in what seemed fake indigence "Oh gee, sorry." 

"I thought so. Yusuke told me you were in the hospital, Yukina was really worried about you. You could have at least went by and seen her. Anyway, how are you? What happened?" 

Kuwabara stood a little dazed, didn't she need to breath between sentences? 

"Nothing happened, I just fell...." 

Keiko looked doubtful and a little suspicious. 

"Fell?" 

"...from a tree." 

"From a tree." She echoed. 

"Yeah, well I should be going now. Go find Yusuke or something." 

"Excuse me?! I'm not with him ALL the time." Her voice assaulted him the next few minutes and he compared her to a screaming banshee in his mind. Although she did scream at him quite gracefully. Then she finally calmed down. 

".....and anyway, Yukina wants to see you. I'm going over there right now and you're coming. You shouldn't make her worry like that!" 

He opened his mouth to protest before Keiko grabbed his wrist and dragged him off to see Yukina. She talked the whole way there and upon seeing the temple Kuwabara sobered. 

"Wait- I have things to do. Can't you just say Hi for me?" 

"No! She's been worried about you, I can't believe you never came to see her right away." 

Keiko knocked once they got up the steps. No one answered. Keiko seemed to be thinking, when a light bulb finally went off. 

"Of course, oops, I guess I was supposed to meet her tomorrow. Well never mind then, I think we'll go to a tea house or something then." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Well, I need something to occupy my time with and you happen to be convenient besides I'm curious about your predicament." 

"Huh?" 

"Yusuke said it was kind of suspicious how you cam over to his house the night before and then ended up in the hospital and he told me about that creepy guy who you said was your dad-" Keiko stopped and a pink flushed her cheek. "Err- I mean, not creepy...just...um, sorry." 

"Hmph. That's what you get for trying to drag me to a tea house." 

"Fine, we'll go to some more open place." 

"What?! No, I can't-" 

"I know! Let's go to the park and buy some drinks from the vending machine." 

Kuwabara and Keiko bickered all the way to the park, Kazuma finally relented. Now they were sitting on a park bench in a deserted park. Kazuma had a mango drink, Keiko had Lychee. 

"So?" 

"What?" Kazuma flushed. He wished Yusuke was around to occupy this girl. 

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?" 

"Nothing's going on!" Kazuma sniffed. Keiko rolled her eyes. 

"Tell me about your father then." 

"Tell you what? He's my father." Kuwabara shifted under her steady gaze, man that girl was persistent! 

"I promise I won't tell." She sobered and looked dead serious. 

"There's really nothing to tell." 

"Even I noticed something was off with you, due to some prompting from Yukina of course, but never mind that. Everything smells fishy to me." 

"It's your girly little brain that's wrong this time." And suddenly the wrath of Keiko had struck Kazuma and he nursed his cheek, unaffected. 

"Hey! You're at least supposed to say ow or something! Even Yusuke hates when I slap." 

"Are you kidding? That didn't hurt." 

"Did so, I bet you're 'manly pride' is just getting the better of you." 

"Whatever." 

"You must be immune to pain or something." 

"Not immune, pain's just common and easy to come by." 

"Yusuke fights all the time and I still get a response from him." 

Kuwabara didn't answer. Keiko suddenly got sympathetic. 

"So where were you going before this?" 

"Just to.....meet someone." 

"Well, gee that sure gives me a load of information." 

"To much for your brain?" 

"I'm warning you. At least now tell me what happened at the hospital. I swear I wont tell a soul." 

Kuwabara fidgeted. 

"It was........nevermind." 

"I promise." Kuwabara never said anything. She decided to tell him some about her and maybe loosen him up. "Fine then, I'll tell you about one of my most horrifying experiences." 

She glanced over at him. Good, he was listening. "Quite awhile ago back when Yusuke was still dead.....well, kinda, _anyway _you know that guy Dai? Well anyway he practically kidnapped me. He knocked me out when I refused to lift my skirt. I was so horrified I thought they were going to rape me, they probably were. I was willing to do almost anything to get away but before I could one of them knocked me out. When I woke up and saw Yusuke I thought it was a dream since he was still in his apartment. I saw a fire behind him and put it out, I was so tired I just kind of dropped off to sleep and woke up in time to hear part of Yusuke's story. And that was the most horrifying experience ever! Honestly, I couldn't live with myself if I'd let them rape me!" 

Keiko looked over to Kazuma. She hadn't been looking at him during her story, it was personal after all and awkward. Kuwabara looked lost, staring in the space in front of him. He looked like a person who had lost their heart and Keiko briefly wondered why when her own words hit her. 

"Kuwabara....." She didn't know what to say. Rape? No, Kuwabara was strong, he was getting close to Yusuke's strength in her opinion. She was going to mention and give her thanks for him coming to try and save her, even though Yusuke got there first, but didn't want to give Kuwabara a big head. She wish she wouldn't of said that last part. 

"...did?" 

Kazuma finally let a few tears roll down his cheeks. 

"No." 

"You can tell me." Her words were so heartfelt that Kazuma felt a strange mixture of shame and hope run through him. He wanted to tell her. Tell someone. Tell anyone. 

"It was a long time ago." Kazuma managed to choke out. Keiko looked sad and about to cry with him. Girls were so emotional. "My father left when I was little. I still have nightmares. No one knows. I..I-he came back." 

Keiko looked horrified. She seemed hesitant to ask. 

"You can....defend yourself right?" 

Kuwabara shook his head. 

"He hasn't touched me anyway." 

"But what if he..? Aren't you stronger with your spirit energy?" 

"He can mute spirit energy, he's physically stronger than me." 

"Then how will you be able to save yourself? You need to get help. Maybe you should talk to Yusuke and he'll take care of him." 

"I was planning on a way of saving myself when you came. I don't need help anyway, he hasn't done anything. Yusuke's busy anyway, he can't save the world you know. He can't save everyone." 

Keiko held her tongue, Kuwabara was so stubborn if only he's listen! 

"How were you going to save yourself?" 

Kazuma got this unhealthily happy look on his face. 

"He may be stronger and can mute spirit energy, but he isn't invincible." 

"What were you going to do?" 

"I'm going to buy a gun, and if he ever- I .....I'll kill him." 

Keiko was going to protest, but why? If it was the only defense he had against his father......in Keiko's the man deserved it even if he left Kazuma alone, poor Kuwabara! He must of only been little. No wonder he was so obsessed with strength and winning, he never wanted to be another victim and here he was...... 

Keiko broke into a fresh round of tears and Kazuma sat solemnly beside her. 

"Why are you crying? It's not that important. I probably just remembered wrong." 

It broke Keiko's heart to see one of her friends to be so hopeless and she vowed she would help him. She finally regained composure. 

"You still have to come with me tomorrow to see Yukina. You need to tell her." 

"I can't." 

"you need to tell someone." 

"I did. Besides I can't go out tomorrow, I'm not supposed to be out right now, my parents are probably looking for me, I'm grounded you know and not only that I still need to find a gun to buy." 

Kuwabara looked nervous. 

"You won't tell? Will you?" 

"I promised I wouldn't and I won't unless he......" She took a deep breath. "I can't just do nothing, we haven't been very close but....I need to do something, I can't believe it, I just....I want to do something. Visit you, kill him, either's fine." 

Kazuma let out a small smile. "I thought it'd be harder to talk, I feel so ashamed. I'd die if anyone else knew." 

Keiko grabbed a pen from her bookbag. 

"Give me your address. If I can't kill him I want to at least check up on you. I still have lots of questions but I'll save them for later." 

Kazuma grabbed the pen and wrote his address on a scrap of paper in his pocket, knowing Keiko wouldn't stop until she got it anyway. If she asked Yusuke for his address that would be kind of.......people would wonder. 

He was surprised. Talking felt good, yet horribly bad. He felt so ashamed and having someone know, it terrified him. No one knew, and now.......he never dreamed of telling anyone let alone Keiko. He was glad to get it off his chest and he felt guilty, it was his fault it happened in the first place. He was glad Keiko wasn't digusted and that she actually cared. He wanted her to visit though he'd never admit it. 

He really did want to visit Yukina too, he hadn't really thought much about her since his father got back. Everything was pushed to the back of his mind. He waved to Keiko as he left the park in the opposite direction wiping his eyes. His wrist hurt. 

He'd bet anything next time he went to see Yukina, Keiko and Botan would be there too. Keiko would try and get him to tell. Yukina would go immediately to his team and Botan to Koenma. He wasn't about to let that happen though. Keiko knowing was bad enough. 

He saw a gang near an alley way. He was relieved when they started walking to the corner of the street to cross. He wasn't about to go into any dark alleyways unless he knew for certain the gun guy was there. He walked up to the gang. 

"Hey, any of you know a Sachiha?" 

AN: Sorry, I can't believe it took this long. I could apologize for week. So Sorry, writers block mixed with school is bad. Sorry if Keiko's out of character, this chapter isn't so well. I've never really seen Keiko and Kuwabara interact because I've never seen the show, I only read the manga in Shonen Jump. Poor me, no cartoon network. Anyway I myself thought the were a little out of character, sorry. Oh and Keiko's experience was a reference from the comic, I forget which chapter, I'm pretty sure his name was Dai, it was when Yusuke got resurrected for a day. Sorry about the shortness.   
  



	8. Razorblade Kiss

AN: Sorry for the delay, there'll probably be a lot more, so...yeah. Anyways, Thank you Dragon of the Rose, I hate Jay too, he just so hate able! And thank you crazy-lil-nae-nae, sorry about the OOCness hope it hasn't carried through a lot. Sorry it this chapter's poorly written, and thanks Hinooki Silvertail! Though I don't know what CN is....central? Anyway, I'm glad I didn't....tarnish her image. And thanks Alex, I know Kuwabara with a gun does seem out of place....he's really desperate though and would try almost anything to keep what Jay did from happening to him again. He's having some 'self-conflict' though I'm not sure that I portrayed that well, anyway, he figures its either him or Jay that's why he doesn't worry about the gun because he believes its somewhat for himself. He doesn't really want to die but.....well, I'm babbling, anyway you wouldn't be giving any plot away because I don't know what you mean. I kind of write this on impulse so I have no plans, I'm not even sure what's going to happen to the characters. And thanks Genesis Saturn, I'm not really sure the standing between Kuwabara and Keiko so I'm winging it, so thanks for the support. Sorry for taking so long (which I'm prone to do) and for any wack spelling mistakes or grammar errors. Hope you like! 

Ps. I made it a bit longer! Yay me! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho 

Chapter 8 

"Hey, any of you know a Sachiha?" 

A tall boy from the middle of the group looked back and the boys around him cleared a path to Kazuma. Kazuma figured he was their leader. The boy gave what he deemed a 'dangerous' look and snorted. 

"You mean Chihasu." A couple boys around him laughed. 

"Whatever. Just tell me where he is before there's any trouble." 

"Trouble? If there's gonna be any trouble, it's gonna be for you. I should pound ya for just saying that, punk." 

Kuwabara waited but no one made a move to fight him. 

"So, who's lookin' and why do you need 'im?" The boys tone was more demanding than questioning. Kazuma tried to keep his face basically emotionless but couldn't help it, really, this was irritating. 

"It's none of your business, just tell me where he is." 

"You seem pretty confident-here, all alone with a rival gang." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Anyone could recognize you a mile away, The great Kuwabara. Not so great in my opinion, I heard you'd do anything for a kittie." 

Normally Kazuma would have growled and maybe punched the guy's face in, but he was tired. He wasn't really angry, just agitated. His mind was more on what he'd told Keiko. 

"What? Cat got your tongue?" The gang started surrounding him on the street, people got away as fast as they could. 

"Well, since we know who you are, I'll tell you who we are. Nothing to you really, just a rival gang. Today's not your lucky day, you're on our turf. Not only that, you beat up one of our own. Chihasu." He boy smirked. "We're going to beat you bloody. By the way, for future reference, my name is Kushija." 

That said the gang of boys started to attack Kazuma, Kazuma was blocking their hits and nothing more. Eventually the boys would have the upper hand if Kazuma didn't act, he was just sorta out of it. He really didn't feel like attacking, he just didn't want to fight. He wanted to hurry up and get the gun and get out of there. 

The gang kept attacking, they weren't making any progress but they weren't gaining any life time injuries either. Kushija just stood there watching, he hadn't attacked yet. He finally called his boys off. 

"Go, I'll deal with him." 

Kushija didn't take his eyes off Kazuma as the boys left. When they were finally gone he spoke. 

"So? What're ya doin' on the wrong side of town?" Kushija gave him a sly smile and Kazuma recoiled. 

"As far as I knew I was already on the wrong side of town." The boy gave another snort and motioned for Kazuma to follow him down the street. Kazuma did. He followed a few steps behind Kushija. They finally turned into a deserted street where Kushija stopped and looked back at Kazuma. 

"Would ya stop walking behind me? I feel like you're gonna attack me any second." Kuwabara cautiously stepped up to Kushija, still keeping his distance mind you. Kushija snorted, obliviously liking the fact that he made Kuwabara nervous, thinking he'd one upped the leader of a rival gang. Kushija seemed to snort a lot. He snorted when he was amused, he snorted when he was taunting someone, he just.....snorted. 

At any rate Kushija finally started walking again Kazuma by his side, being uniformly suspicious and shifty. When Kushija stopped abruptly Kuwabara was glad he hadn't been behind him, he'd probably of knocked them both over. Not that knocking Kushija over would have been a bad thing, this guy seemed way too cocky for Kazuma's liking, he'd probably try to kill him or beat him up or something. 

Kazuma followed Kushija into an alleyway, not the scary dark ones you see in movies, it was actually quite well lit and far from menacing and scary, especially with a hobo curled up near a garbage dump, smelling strongly of alcohol. Kushija pushed a door open and soon Kazuma found himself in the typical abandoned warehouse. 

"Yo' Chihasu, ya got a visitor!" 

Kuwabara heard some scraping and crashing before Chihasu appeared in front of them. Chihasu was no taller than Kurama give or take a few inches. He wasn't intimidating in the least. Chihasu peered at him through glasses. 

"Who's he and what's he want?" 

"Well you should know, 'is gang beat you up a while ago." 

Chihasu's eyes narrowed and he stared angrily at Kuwabara, a little pouty but giving a dangerous effect. 

"So? What did you come here for? I hope you know you're not leaving without a lickin' now, lost all my business thanks to you." 

"I didn't come here to fight, and I really don't care what my gang did to you, you probably deserved it." 

"Then what did you come 'ere for?" 

"I was wondering about a gun." 

"Wonderin'? Here we don't wonder, you either want it or you don't. Or is it that you need information?" 

"I want it, I was just wondering how much it'd cost me." 

Chihasu snorted and gave a sidelong glance at Kushija, and then turned his attention back to Kuwabara. "Why should I? Why shouldn't I just break your legs and leave you for my boys? I'm even considerin' lettin' you leave, but doin' you a favor?" 

"It's not a favor, I'll be paying for it, I just need to know how much and when I can get it." 

"I say it is a favor, but how much are you willin' to pay?" 

"How much do you want?" 

Chihasu looked over at Kushija then they started laughing, it was disturbing. Did they know something Kazuma didn't? 

"I'm not sure you can afford it honey." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Eight hundred." 

Kazuma looked a little desperate and unluckily for him the other two picked it up. 

"Four." 

"Seven fifty." 

"Five." 

"Seven." 

"Six." 

"It's a deal. You get me the money I'll get you the gun." 

"In that order?" 

"I have no reason to trust ya, of course there are other ways of paying if you know what I mean." 

Kuwabara looked lost. Chihasu looked over at Kushija who was watching impassively with a bit of a sadistic grin on his face, his thoughts were not good ones. 

"Where'd ya pick this guy up Ku-ja? Or did he come to you?" Chihasu had a certain mockingness to his voice. 

"Came to me, can you believe it? My boys couldn't touch 'im though, he's a fast one. 'Course he never fought me." 

Kazuma couldn't believe these guys, he didn't even know what they were talking about and they were taking forever! He needed to go and figure out how to get six hundred dollars, and other methods of payment? Did they mean being a hitman? Bouncer? Bodyguard or something like that? And they were talking about beating him up, like they could! Chihasu was average but even Kazuma's gang beat him up, Kushija didn't seem much of a challenge either. Kushija must have been maybe a few inches taller than Kazuma but hardly anything that noticeable. Besides Kushija didn't have spirit energy. 

Kazuma wasn't worried about getting beat up. He'd been losing weight but he didn't think it was noticeable, especially with his school uniform, no one had said anything to him. A little bit of weight wouldn't affect his spirit energy. Tired of their conversation he cut in. 

"I'll have the money ready when you have the gun, if I don't then I'll do this other 'payment' thing or whatever you're talking about. Just tell me when you'll have the gun." 

Chihasu quirked an eyebrow. 

"I thought you're whole gang was into 'honor'." 

"Can you please hurry it up I need to be somewhere." 

"I'll have the gun ready in a few days, you sure you're up to it? I doubt you'll have the money and as much as I like the idea of getting free service I wouldn't want to force anything on you." 

"Whatever. I'll have the money." 

"Maybe you should know what this alternative payment entails before you agree." 

"Look I really don't care. I just need to know where to go to pick up the gun." 

Chihasu studied him for a second before answering. 

"Kushija will pick you up, he'll be waiting outside you're school gate. If you're gang makes trouble it's there own fault when they end up in the hospital." 

Kazuma nodded and Kushija led the way out, Chihasu staying. 

Kushija kept eyeing Kazuma. 

"You know if you don't pay up your experience will be less than pleasant right?" 

"I said I will, now buzz off." Kuwabara was more tired than annoyed. 

"Can't, if I do and my gang sees you.....well wouldn't want to scar that face of yours." 

"You mean like last time?" Kazuma was getting agitated and drifty again. 

Kushija snorted and stopped when they came to the street light where Kazuma had approached them. 

"My territory ends here. Remember to look for me." With that Kushija took off and Kuwabara started walking home. 

Kazuma didn't know what it was about Kushija and Chihasu but he didn't like it. It was like they emanated darkness. It made him shiver. He didn't want to be anywhere near them, he didn't like the way they looked at him or acted around him, it got under his skin. It made him feel faintly ill. He didn't really want to go home either. He hoped his mom and Jay had went out, maybe Shizuru would cover for him though he doubted it. Shizuru had always looked out for him though. 

The sky was getting dark, Kuwabara enjoyed stars but the night had always left him feeling empty. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in a safe warm soft place with Eikichi in his lap. He missed Eikichi........when he got home he'd probably be grounded for the rest of his life. He wouldn't be able to go see Yukina tomorrow, not that he was really looking forward to that, he wanted to see Yukina but by gosh he didn't want to tell her what he told Keiko, he regretted that. It made him feel disgusted with himself, he didn't want anyone to know, it was a little late for that though. He didn't fancy the idea of Botan knowing either, even if she could keep quiet and not tell Koenma, which she probably could, she'd just probably choose not too. 

He'd just die if anyone else knew. Telling Keiko was a mistake, she'd always look at him with pity, if not disgust. 

He reached home and slid the key into the door. He hadn't even noticed the walk, the stairs or anything else. He was surprised to find not only Jay and his mom gone but his sister. He found a note on the table that informed him all three would be gone before he got back from school and that they'd be gone until at least ten thirty. 

Kazuma shrugged off his worries and slid around the tiled kitchen in his socks, just like he'd done when he was little. For the moment, he didn't need to worry about anything at all. 

Kazuma had been running around the apartment doing whatever he wished for about a half an hour when the phone rang. He leisurely picked it up, he had an hour before his family came home. 

"Hello?" Kazuma's voice had the faintest hint of breathlessness. 

"Kuwabara?" 

"Who's this?" 

"Keiko!" 

"How'd you get this number?" 

".........Yusuke." 

"What?!" 

"Well, you only gave me your address and I didn't want to come over in case I got you in trouble." 

"But-nevermind, you didn't tell him did you?" 

"No, what am I? A loud mouth?" 

"Yes?" 

"Whatever, anyway, how'd it go?" 

Kazuma sighed. 

"I need six hundred dollars." 

"Do you have anything yet?" 

"No, I got maybe fifty but that's not much." 

"When do you need it by?" 

"I need it in a few days." 

"Can't you get it sooner? I don't feel safe....." 

"I don't even have the money yet, they talking about some alternative method of payment or something.........I'll find a way to get that money." 

"I've got about a hundred dollars saved up that you can pay back later. I'm sure the others would lend you some." 

"It's all right I'll earn my own money, besides asking the others would be kind of suspicious." 

"I can say it's for me..." 

"It's alright." 

"You can talk to me you know." 

"I know." 

"Eeek! My mom's home, gotta go!" 

Kuwabara winced, man that girl could squeal. He flipped onto the couch and the phone rang again. 

"Hello?" 

"Sorry, false alarm, turns out it was the neighbour lady." 

Kazuma sweat dropped. 

"Grounded are we?" 

"Yes, _we_ are." 

"What'd you get grounded for?"  
"Something stupid and totally unfair, anyway, how'd your parents take your absence?" 

"They never. They- including my sister-left before I got back from school, of course I never got back but like I'd tell them that." 

"When did you get back?" 

"I don't know an hour ago or something like that." 

"That's a long time." 

"Those guys kept talking it was giving me a headache. They just wouldn't shut up." 

"You really shouldn't be hanging around those people. Anyway, are you still coming to Yukina's tomorrow? Can you get out of your grounding? Tell your mom it's her birthday or something." 

"Wait, aren't you grounded?" 

"Well, you know, since it's Yukina's birthday and all." 

"Ri~ght." 

"I was thinking, what should I call you?" 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Well, you don't call me Yukimura- actually you don't call me anything....how 'bout this, I'll call you by your first name and you can call me Keiko." 

"...alright." 

"What's your first name? Sorry, I've been calling you Kuwabara so long." 

"Kazuma." 

"Kazuma......" 

"That's right." 

"Will you tell me about your childhood?" 

"No!" Kuwabara flushed red out of embarrassment. 

"Come on......" 

"Forget it." 

"I'm not leaving you alone until you do." 

"No." 

"Yes." 

"I'm going to hang up"  
"come on, just tell me, don't keep everything bottled up!" 

"Blah, whatever..I'm hanging up." 

And he did. The next moment he heard the phone ring. Keiko was sure persistent. 

"Look Keiko, I'm not telling you anything! Why would you want to know about that, even I don't want to know about that. I'm telling you it's cursed knowledge, you'd regret hearing it, especially from me." 

"Eh.....Kuwabara?" Kazuma did more blushing. He needed to learn when to keep his mouth shut. 

"Urameshi?" 

"What was that about? Was that why Keiko wanted your number? Come on tell me!" 

"Uh.....no, I'm, uh....sorry, I thought you were Keiko." 

"Actually I was phoning because I wondered why she wanted your number." 

Kazuma was thinking on an answer when he heard someone unlocking the door. 

"Listen, I'm grounded so I need to go, phone Keiko and tell hernot to call me." 

He slammed the phone down before he heard an answer. 

AN: sorry for the shoddy characters, they suck I know and weren't well represented. (you know, Chihasu and Kushija.) Anyway thanks for reading!!! 


	9. Save Yourself

AN: Look for it at the end!!! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho 

Kazuma - Chapter 9 

Kazuma was glad neither Keiko nor Yusuke had called. He didn't know what he'd tell them. He was thoroughly ashamed with himself. He'd told Keiko..........and Urameshi, what happened when he found out what a disgusting loser he was? What would Yusuke say when he found out Kuwabara had abandonned his honor code? Kazuma's throat tightened. 

Kazuma tightly pulled his jacket further around him. His mother had mercifully agreed to let him g see Yukina, he felt bad for lying to her. He was so confused. He had a code, an honest to goodness code yet here he was, lying.......and killing. He'd promised himself he'd never abandon his code. He promised himself he'd never be like his father, and here he was. He promised........Kazuma's chest tightened. 

It always came down to his father. Why he fought..... why he cared...... why he had even had a code.......... and now why he had abandonned it....... 

It would always be about his father in the end. Kazuma whimpered in fury. He dare not cry, he was almost in the school yard. Yes, it was all about Jay in the end............. 

Nonononononononononono 

Kuwabara repeated the mantra in his head, he promised. He promised! He wanted to make his mother proud....his sister. He wanted to protect them. That's all he wanted, he didn't want to lie to his gang, to his family, to his team.........he was tired. He wanted this to be over. He just wanted to protect his family, that's it. 

Kuwabara thought on this. He didn't want a gun, he didn't want anything. Only to protect his mother and Shizuru. He didn't care about anyone knowing if they could just be safe. Maybe he should just give up. He had nothing to lose other than himself. He wouldn't shoot Jay. He couldn't kill himself.......it wasn't honorable..... 

He would fight. Once his family was safe he would fight Jay, he wouldn't let him touch him again......he wouldn't be a coward and shoot him either. Maybe he could just tell Chihasu he didn't want it anymore........that wouldn't go over well but what was he going to do? 

Kazuma was sure Hiei would take care of Eikichi if he didn't beat Jay, Yusuke would make him, well Kurama would. He wasn't going to tell them about his past so he knew they would respect him after his death when Jay killed him. He'd rather be killed than.......... 

Kuwabara shivered. He entered the school gates, not noticing the looks he was getting. After all, he was the Great Kuwabara and he did look like the living dead. He was pale from blood loss and stress, he was thin......he hadn't ate much at the hospital. Kazuma didn't even notice any changes or the dark circles under his eyes or his spirit energy diminishing. 

Others did. Yusuke did, Kuwabara didn't even acknowledge him as Yusuke sidled up beside him. Yusuke studied him for a moment before nudging him. Kazuma jumped three feet and Yusuke smiled his cocky smile. 

"Hey." 

Kuwabara smiled faintly, a little bit sheepish. 

"Er....hey." 

"So.....what're ya doing today? Koenma wants us to train, he said to tell you." 

"Oh, I can't. I told my mom I was going to Yukina's. I'm gounded so......" 

"Then why did she let you go to Yukina's?" 

"I, uh, told her it was Yukina's birthday." 

Yusuke frowned. 

"I thought you didn't lie." 

Kazuma avoided Yusuke's gaze, he sighed. He'd broken his code.....for Jay. He didn't want to do it. He wouldn't. His code _was_ him. Just as soon as his mom and sister were safe. If he died Yusuke would protect them from Jay, right? Yusuke wouldn't let anything happen to anyone though he sometimes acted like he didn't care. 

"I did, but I'm not going to anymore." 

"Hn...so is that why you told me not to call last night? You were grounded?" 

Kazuma was about to answer when he realized he would be lying. He didn't want to lie anymore than he already had. 

"No. I told you not to call because Jay doesn't like it when my friends call me." 

"That's stupid." 

"That's Jay." 

"So, what's the deal with that? I didn't even know you had a pop." 

Kazuma tried to answer truthfully. 

"I didn't really. He left when I was nine, he came back though as you can see. And as for his character, he's just like that. I don't know why." 

Yusuke opened his mouth to relpy when the school bell rang. Kuwabara smiled somewhat helplessly at him and Yusuke could not help thinking that Kazuma had changed. He looked like he would topple open any second. Yusuke snorted as Kuwabara left to his classes, he was going to find out what was going on. He'd just meet Kuwabara (along with the rest of Team Urameshi) at Yukina's. Yusuke twitched as he realized he hadn't even asked Kuwabara why Keiko had asked for his number. Keiko wouldn't tell him, but she sounded emotional. Maybe it was a girl thing. 

*** 

Kuwabara walked along nervously on the path to Yukina's, Keiko beside him. She'd found him after school to make sure he was coming. They hadn't said much, it was a bit awkward. 

"So, Kazuma, I'm glad you mom let you come." 

"..yeah. Thanks." 

Keiko beamed at him, then turned serious. 

"You have to tell Yusuke." 

Kazuma.....wasn't expecting that. 

"Er...I don't think that's such a great idea Keiko." 

Kuwabara looked away and heard Keiko sigh. 

"Kazuma.....just think, I know this is hard for you, but.......well, listen. If you tell Yusuke and the others, or even just Yusuke, then he can help! I know it. I'm worried, I don't know how you're going to get that gun, I don't even know if you can protect yourself. Kuwabara.....Kazuma.....please." 

"I-I just.....can't." Kazuma glued his eyes to the floor, "sorry." He whispered almost inaudibly. 

Keiko sighed sadly. 

"Just what is your plan then?" 

"I...I'm not going to kill him. I just want to scare him off, I'm gonna wait until my sister and mom are safe first though. Listen, if I fight him and I don't make it...." Kazuma's voice cracked and he looked up at Keiko, eyes shining. "Then please, don't tell anyone and make sure Urameshi takes care of Jay when I'm gone......I'm afraid he'll hurt Shizuru and my mom.....and.....make sure Eikichi's alright." 

Keiko had started crying half way through. 

"Kazuma, please. I can't let you do this. Why not just let Yusuke take care of him, you said you wanted him too if you died so what would it matter if he did it before?" 

"I-I can't depend on everyone all my life." 

"You haven't! I've seen you, you've always stuck up for people in trouble, you were always kind. Please Kazuma....." 

"I don't want him to know, I can't tell him if I'm dead and I know you won't, you promised you wouldn't and it wouldn't do any good to tell them when I'm dead anyway." 

They stopped talking at this point as they had reached the temple. Kazuma nervously chuckled and wiped at his eyes though it had been obvious he was crying. He hoped Yukina wouldn't ask........he wouldn't lie. Jay might be stronger then him but Kazuma wouldn't betray everything he'd worked for. He noticed Keiko wiping her eyes with her sleeve, she smiled at him and linked her arm in his, dragging him up the step. 

"Yukina!!!!" 

Keiko called as they reached the top of the temple. Both entered the temple red eyed. Keiko found her way to Yukina's room and turned to Kuwabara. 

"She's gonna be psyched!" She whispered excitedly. She slid the rice paper door open and froze, making Kuwabara look up. He too, froze. 

All eyes in the room were on them. Not only was there Yukina. 

"Yusuke?" Keiko squeaked. 

It was obvious they had been crying. Yukina looked confused, Yusuke stunned, Kurama concerned, and Hiei calm as usual though there was a curious glint in his eyes. 

"What are you doing here?" Keiko asked, composure gained. Kuwabara had flushed cheeks that was a contrast to his usual deathly pallor, his eyes were glued to the floor and he let his fingertips idly ghost over his broken wrist. 

"I.....have you been crying?" 

"....no, that's not the point anyway, what are you doing here?! I was supposed to meet Yukina." 

"Kuwabara said he was coming here, I wanted to know what his problem was." 

"......." Keiko turned to Kazuma, "well, let's sit down I guess." 

Kazuma and Keiko sat down across from Hiei and Kurama, Yusuke and Yukina at the sides of the table. Yukina quietly poured them green tea. Finally she spoke. 

"It's nice to see you Kazuma, I'm glad to see you're all right, I was worried." 

Kuwabara flushed before once again paling to his 'normal' color. 

"Thank you Yukina-san." 

Yukina smiled at him and returned to her spot. They all sat silently, most of them eyeing Keiko and Kuwabara. Keiko sniffed indignantly at them whil Kuwabara stared at the tea cup in front of him. 

"So, Kuwabara, are you gonna tell us what your problem is or what?" Yusuke asked impatiently. 

"....it's...nothing." 

Kurama smiled sympathetically at him. It was obvious no one believed him. Hiei snorted and mumbled a 'stupid oaf' under his breath though he too was concerned. Keiko put her hand on his arm and squeezed gently. 

"Get your hands off him Keiko." 

Everyone looked shocked and Yusuke sputtered. 

"..that came out wrong.What I meant was that I don't like you to touching so you should just stop and let Kuwabara get on with it." 

Yusuke huffed and Hiei smirked at him. Kurama also smiled at him a little mischeviously. Kuwabara sat indifferent. 

"I- I don't know what you want to hear but I have nothing to say." 

"Kazuma......" 

Keiko studied him with her eyes. Yusuke huffed again. 

"Since when do you call him by his first name?!" 

Keiko turned and glared at Yusuke. 

"Whatever, I don't care. Look, all I know is that something is wrong with Kuwabara and it's affecting this team so I want to know what it is!" 

At a moment like this Kuwabara would usually argue with Yusuke or joke, instead he just weakly nodded. 

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Ask away." 

He felt Keiko gently squeeze his arm, Yusuke scowled. Yusuke sure was protective of Keiko.........he gently took Keiko's hand off him and Yusuke glanced at him, satisfied. Strangely glaring at Keiko. (AN:lol, couldn't resist, sorry!) 

"All right, fine. Fisrt tell us what really happened when you went to the hospital." 

Kuwabara started to sweat, or felt like it. Even Keiko didn't know this part. He was determined however, to keep this part of himself, Jay could not take it away. 

"Well.....my dad came back and he........he just wasn't very happy with me, you know? So he......he was angry." Kazuma finished off lamely and looked up solemnly. 

Keiko looked sad, Kurama startled, Hiei caught off guard, and Yusuke with murder in his eyes. Yukina looked worried and shocked. 

"...he loses his temper sometimes....that's all." 

"Hn." Hiei replied looking angry and thoughtful and somewhat dangerous. 

"So what?!! You weren't gonna tell us! Idiot! Why didn't you just stop him?!" 

That was Urameshi, he was angry, really angry/ 

"I-he......I couldn't....he's stronger than me and he can mute spirit energy." 

Kurama stared at his curiously. 

"When did he come back?" 

"A day before I got sent to the hospital." Kuwabara answered weakly, he didn't want to do this..... 

Yusuke's fist clenched. 

"Is that...?! Is that when you came to my house that night?" 

".......yes." 

Yusuke just stared at him, too angry to speak. Hiei spoke up. 

"Why didn't you tell us human?" 

".....I don't know" 

"Hn. We'll kill him." 

"...you can't. I-I....I wasn't hurt that bad, only a little, I don't want to kill him I just.....I just want to get rid of him I guess." 

"You can stay with me if you want Kuwabara." 

"That's all right Kurama." 'I know my family won't be safe.' Kuwabara thought to himself. 

"We'll have to tell Koenma, if your father can really mute spirit energy." Kurama rationalized. 

"I don't care if he can mute spirit energy, he's still no match for me! I'll make him pay for messing with team Urameshi, no one messes with my team." 

"...thanks, but...I kind of already have a plan and I really don't need help." 

"Yes you do!" Blurted Keiko before she stopped herself. 

"....I don't, I just need to stay away from everyone for awhile, he doesn't like people." 

"Kazuma!" 

"Keiko....it'll be fine." 

"Where are you going to get the money?!" 

Yusuke took this chance to enter the conversation. 

"What money?" 

Noth Kuwabara and Keiko looked at him stunned as if they just barely realized that he had been listening, which they probably had. Kuwabara looked pale and sick. 

"I....was going to buy a gun, I wasn't going to shoot him, just scare him off....." 

"Idiot, you should have came to us in the first place." Hiei said coolly. 

"This is stupid, I can't see a way you'll help me short of clobbering him, which my mom and sister will hate me forever for if that happens, so there's really nothing _to_ do.I didn't come here for a game of twenty questions, I just wanted to visit Yukina." 

Yukina looked sadly at him. 

"Let them help Kuwabara." 

Suddenly Kazuma burst into tears and covered his hands with his face. Keiko quickly comforted him, Yusuke unhappily looking at them, Yukina sad and the rest shell shocked. 

They all heard Kazuma softly sob a plea for help into Keiko's shoulder as she patted his back. 

"Help me.....I'm so confused, I don't know what to do.........." 

AN: let me guess, you want to kill me right? Anyway, on with thanking the reviewers.......hopefully not everyone gave up and forgot about this story by now. 

Thank you **Crazy-lil-nae-nae**, sorry about the OOCness but I'm glad it fits in with my story, thanks! And thanks **Alex**, I didn't know about the demonic energy thing, I love your idea, as you can tell.....not really going in that directions, meh, I suck, but I'll use that demonic engery thing! Love your plot bunny! And thanks **Kaze**, that was a cool website. I did love it. Also, thank you **Dragon of the Rose**, Kushija's a piece eh? Sorry....I haven't exactly updated that soon.....And thanks** Hinooki Silvertail** for the encouragement and telling me what CN stands for. 

Also thanks **Genesis Saturn**, I love your evilness! You got the evil laugh down pact! Sorry this chapter didn't have much funniness in it, I think the Keiko-Kuwabara interactment has digressed.....*sigh* And thank you** Hungry Sano** (still love your name) sorry to keep you all waiting, I feel so guilty.....but yeah, Kuwabara is the MAN!!! Oh yeah!!! Gotta love him! And thanks** Katzztar**, I'm flattered anyone would be reading this at 2 am, I'm glad that there are other Kuwa fans too!!! YAY!!! And thanks **Mistress of Dragons**, sorry for not writing so long, thank you SO much for reviwing, yeeHAW!!! Thanks** bit-Blackmage**, wow I'm in a collection, I have achieved my dream!!!!! HO-DOGGIE! Your writings aren't bad themselves (by that I mean that I LOVE them). 


	10. Support group

AN: All right, no authors note at the bottom!!! Yay, tenth chapter!!!!! I would like to thank Katzztar and Everqueen for being faithful fans!!!! Thank you **Katzztar** for being so nice! I don't think this chapter is emotional enough and it's really short. Sorry. I'm also afraid some of the characters may be OOC. Sucky. Well hopefully I work through this. Thank you for the encouragement! And thank you Everqueen, and Kazuma is going to get even more support!! Just wait until they confront Chihasu, I'm going for funny. I also need to get Koenma, Botan, and Eikichi in there. (Jay, too....ugh, hate Jay but he is a key character.) I wanted to focus more on Shizuru this chapter because I didn't think I was being that fair to her.....sure she can be tough on her brother but she does love him.......lol, anywho. THANKS all you (two) for reviewing. Hope you like this chapter! (even though it is short, sorry 'bout that, this chapter blows. Hope I can make it better. Its hard to involve all the characters......sometimes I kind of......just forget about them. Like genkai, but she'll be there too!) Ps. What do you think of 'Robot' by Tatu (the russian version) for the theme song? 

Chapter 10 

Kuwabara stared morosely at the rice paper wall. He was still at Yukina's........he should have been home. Jay would be angry if he was too late. Keiko had to leave. She was still grounded. His team was there though...........tomorrow they were going to Koenma and Botan. 

Kuwabara felt sick. At least they didn't know.........well, Keiko did but she was satisfied that he was getting help. The girls were sympathetic, his team was..........Kurama was the most sympathetic. They only thought he'd been beaten up. He'd stopped crying a while ago. He needed to get home. 

Everyone was still sitting around the table, just staring awkwardly at each other. Kuwabara felt foolish, they had, after all, seen him cry. Yusuke cleared his throat and finally spoke up. 

"So.....no gun then right?" 

Kuwabara nodded, he'd agreed. How was he going to explain this to Chihasu and Kushija? 

"Right, well, we'll take care of Jay." 

Kuwabara nodded lifelessly again. This wasn't going to work. The best case scenario was that they cornered Jay alone and threatened him and he felt Kuwabara alone. Kazuma doubted that would happen. The worst case scenario..........things could get messy. Kazuma already felt stupid and weak getting his team to do this. 

"What.....what about...the guys that I'm supposed to get the gun from?"

"Call it off." 

"I...it's not that simple. See, I mean, I have to pay them because I said I would." 

"Stop being honorable and tell them to go screw themselves then." 

"No, you see. I can't. I promised I would and if I didn't they said I would have to pay them some other way and I agreed, so....." 

"You idiot what did you do that for?" 

"Yusuke, calm down." As always, Kurama was the voice of reason. He turned to look at Kuwabara. "Now, what were these alternate methods of payment?" 

Kuwabara flushed a little. 

"...well, I don't know, I thought I'd have the money, so-" 

"Oaf." 

Kuwabara glared half heartedly at Hiei. 

"What gang?" 

"What?" 

"I said, what. Gang. ?" 

Kuwabara flushed again, maybe he should of paid more attention. 

"....I don't know." 

Yusuke sighed exasperated. 

"How do you get into these messes?" 

"Well, I know some of their names." 

"Well?" 

"Um...Chihasu, I think and....Kushija." 

Yusuke's eyes widened as he heard these names. 

"You idiot!" 

Everyone looked at Yusuke alarmed. 

"I know those guys! You just sold yourself off to be some kind os sex slave." 

Kuwabara turned red, "WHAT?!" 

Hiei looked faintly amused. Kurama scolded him with a serious look. 

"Oaf." 

"Shut up Hiei! I-I didn't do that!" 

"Moron, now I'll have to go straighten this out myself." 

Kuwabara lowered his head and stared at the floor. How embarrassing! And not only that, Yusuke was treating him like a helpless baby! He didn't need him to straighten this out......but then again, he was pretty stressed lately from Jay. 

"Fine." Kazuma less than whispered. 

"You're coming with me Kuwabara." 

"Hiei and I will come too, Yusuke, if you don't mind." 

Hiei eyed Kurama warily, he didn't need to be volunteered for this......at least it would be amusing. Kuwabara was lost in embarrassment and fright. What had he done? He looked up at his team, he was lucky to have friends like them. 

"Er.....thank you guys..." 

Kurama smiled and nodded at him. Hiei ignored him and Yusuke also nodded. Yukina kept out of the conversation. Kuwabara changed the subject. 

"So.....Hiei, how's Eikichi?" 

************ 

Kuwabara entered his apartment quietly. He'd stayed too long at Yukina's......it was already eleven. It was dark inside except for the glow of the television in the other room. He slowly closed the door. 

"Kazuma." 

Kazuma jumped three feet and spun around. There was his sister. 

"Shizuru." 

She smiled at him. 

"Mom and Dad are out again. Come watch tv with me." 

Kazuma nodded and followed her into the living room. At least Shizuru was talking to him again. She didn't seem angry. 

They sat on the couch and Shizuru turned the volume (which was already low) off and turned to him. 

"Kazuma.......why do you hate him?" Shizuru looked sadly at him. Kuwabara was at a loss for words. 

"..I-I dont! I just......well...." 

"Kazuma, I realized that lately I've been totally unfair. I immediately assumed I was right about Jay and.......I never listened to you at all." Shizuru had tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. Kazuma, please tell me what's wrong. I don't want to distance myself from you." 

Kuwabara felt guilty seeing his sister like this when a horrible thought struck him and his eyes widened. 

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?!" 

Shizuru looked startled at Kazuma before shaking her head in the negetive. She stared at the relieved Kazuma for a minute. 

"Why? Did he do anything to you?!" 

Kazuma stared back at her. He wasn't going to lie to her......... 

".....he used to beat me." 

Shizuru gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. 

"When we were little.......you were always in the hospital." Tears fell from her eyes. "Kazuma.....I'm so sorry, I didn't know-I didn't even suspect! Oh, Kazuma-" 

"Sh, it's okay Shizuru. I should have told you, I didn't know how you would react and.......I'm sorry. So, just be careful around him, okay?" 

Shizuru nodded solemnly. 

"Oh Kazuma, you weren't beat up by a gang were you?" 

"No." Kazuma looked sadly at his sister. He felt like such a loud mouth. 

"Listen, don't tell anyone, okay? I'm taking care of this and I'm pretty sure he won't touch you or mom." 

"Kazuma-" 

"Please let me take care of this." 

"All right Kazuma. I trust you. If you can't get rid of Jay though, I will." 

Kazuma nodded and Shizuru got up before leaning down to hug him and kiss his forehead. 

"I'm going to bed. Sweet dreams Kazu, remember to get your rest." 

Kazuma sat contemplating ater Shizuru left before getting up and going to bed himself. Maybe this plan could work.......maybe he would be able to take care of Jay and not expose his secret......maybe.........but Kazuma never was very fortunate. 


	11. Tough

AN: Thank you **Everqueen!** I must apologize to everyone (once again) that this is so ..... That it took so long to write. And thanks **Mistress of Dragons**, I hope you're not confused by all my mistakes and stuff.... I make quite a lot, my consistency is naught. Sorry. Thanks **Gojita the Saiyan Princess,** I got added to a faves list! YAY!! And thanks **Kazztar**, and no review is too late (compared to me being late in writing) You're school sounds complicated, I wish you luck (personnally I _suffer_ through school). Kurama will find out first....not in this chapter though. Thanks for the encouragement! And thanks **Alex**!! It does take a real man to ask for help. Thanks for reviewing. And thank you **Genesis Saturn**! You're so loyal in reviews, hehe.... I feel special (different from my _usual_ mentally handi cap special) I'm just kidding.... Mental retardation is no joke. They should be treated with respect. They're people too. Anywho, thanks. And thanks **Dustbunny3,** I do believe I got one more in my audience, YAY! Thanks for reviewing. Kooy-kins....hehehe. Oh, I loved your shrine!!! LOVED IT!!! It's the first shrine to Kazu-chan I've seen. Though I've seen a cool Kurama and Shizuru one.... I mean two different sites.....Anyway, thanks **Hungry Sano**!! And like every time I just have to say: Your. Name. ROCKS! Yes...it does. Anywho, hope you like the next chapter. THANK YOU ALL!!!! Oh, and thanks for reading and reviewing. I give you all a digital cookie! (the secret ingredient is loooove.hehehe, lol, just kidding.) 

Chapter 11 

"Mom, I'll be gone after school." Kazuma's mother stared at him. 

"All right honey." 

Kazuma nodded and stuffed a toast in his mouth before leaving through the door. Jay wasn't up yet. Kazuma had left early to avoid him on purpose, his mom was easier to talk to when Jay wasn't there. 

Kazuma walked calmly to school but inside he was a wreck. Today he was going to tell Kushija and Chihasu that he didn't want the gun. Of course team Urameshi would be with him, but still.... 

Kazuma hoped he could settle everything quietly. He hoped Kushija wouldn't be waiting for him after school, because that would just make things worse. He sighed and continued on to school. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell everyone....... 

He entered the school yard and walked slowly to class. He idly noticed Yusuke wasn't there for first period. Or second. Or third. Or any other period. The day dragged on. 

Finally school was over and Kuwabara was still wondering where Urameshi was. He didn't see him anywhere, he didn't see Kurama or Hiei either. One person he did see though - even though he didn't want to - was Kushija. 

Kushija was sitting on the school fence grinning at Kazuma like a chesire cat stalking its prey. Kazuma gulped. He slowly walked over to Kushija. 

"Uh...hi.." 

"Hello Kuwabara, are you ready to see Chihasu?" 

"...er...actually..." 

Kushija raised an eyebrow and smiled sardonically. 

"Let me guess, you don't have the money, do you?" 

"Well, not exactly, you see-" 

"You better come see Chihasu with me then. I'll try to straighten this out for you but.....Chihasu's pretty ruthless and your gang did beat him up after all." 

Kazuma nodded and followed him. Cursing Yusuke in his mind for making promises he couldn't keep. Yusuke was always skipping out. 

Kazuma was so busy mumbling about Yusuke to himself he didn't notice when they finally reached the warehouse a good half hour later. Only when Kushija led him into the poorly lit warehouse did Kazuma notice his surroundings. 

He gulped. He hadn't even thought of what he was going to tell Chihasu.....it didn't matter though, Kazuma could take him if he tried to pull something. Knowing this, however, did not ease the bad feeling Kazuma had in his gut. 

Kushija motioned for him to stay silent and led him further into the warehouse. Soon they came to a semi-clearing, free of crates and other factory junk. There were two couches which roughly faced each other. Chihasu occupied one and three others occupied the other. Chihasu stopped talking and raised an eyebrow when he saw Kushija approach, Kuwabara following him like a little kitten following its mother. 

"So?" 

"So?"Kushija echoed back at Chihasu. Chihasu gave him a serious look, which was tough considering he was smashed. Kuwabara tried not to fidget nervously as Chihasu turned to gase solemnly at him. His words were a bit slurred, yet clam and smooth as before. 

"No money." Chihasu stared at Kuwabara awhile before bursting into a round of small childish chuckles. "Honey." 

"No money, Honey." Chihasu repeated several times in a sing-song voice. "Look guys," he turned to the three boys on the couhc, "I'm a poet." 

Kushija raised an eyebrow and smirked. 

"Ri~ght." 

Chihasu approached Kuwabara with a sway in his step. He stopped with his toes to Kuwabara's. Kuwabara shifted back uncomfortably, the smell of booze strong. He winced. 

Chihasu dreamily stood on his tippy toes and leaned up. He was nose to nose with Kuwabara. Kazuma noticed Kushija tense, smile still in place though half hearted. 

"Hey Chihasu." Chihasu turned to glare at him as if he was disturbing something. 

"What?! Can't you see I'm busy?!" 

Kushija calmly approached Chihasu and led him back to the couch by the arm. 

"You got his gun?" 

Chihasu nodded angrily and tore up a cushion, opening it, he withdrew a small handgun. 

"Best I could get, on such short notice." He slurred. 

Kushija just nodded, inspecting the gun. 

"Listen, I don't mean to rain on your parade but...our friend here doesn't have the money." 

Chihasu processed this slowly and finally turned to Kazuma, smiling wickedly. 

"Oh...another toy for me to play with then." 

Kushija leaned in convesationally. 

"Well, I was thinking, you know......you owe me for quite a lot." 

Chihasu nodded. Kushija continued. 

"How 'bout we make a trade. I'll cancel your debt if you give me him." 

Chihasu snorted poutingly and Kuwabara's eyes were wide in disbelief but he forced himself to stay quiet. 

"I don't want to trade him!" 

Chihasu rose and made his way over to Kazuma, Kushija not daring to stop him. He squinted up at him before attacking him, sending them both sprawling onto the ground. 

For a moment Kazuma was disoriented and dizzy, Chihasu's small weight pinning him down. He was about to get up but didn't have the chance as Chihasu was roughly grabbed by the collar and hauled backwards. 

Kuwabara heard some shouting and quickly jumped up. By the time he was up everyone was knocked out and he was the only one left standing, minus Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei. They looked angry. 

Kuwabara let out a small weak smile and waved at them, backing up a little, Yusuke was pure red, even Hiei looked flushed in anger. Kurama had a hard look but was otherwise the same pale color they had come to expect. Kazuma swallowed. He noticed Kushija unconscious on the floor and inwardly sighed. 

Yusuke exploded. 

"You IDIOT! I told you not to come with out us!! Do you even know what they could have done?! Do you?!!" 

Kuwabara glared at him, like always, and folded his arms across his chest. 

"Yeah well, I had it under control and if YOU had just kept your promise in the first place and came-" 

"We were at Koenma's!!~" 

"How was I supposed to know?!!" 

Before the arguement could get any worse Kurama intervened. Forever the peacemaker. 

"Stop fighting. Let's just be glad we got here in time." 

Kuwabara sniffed. 

"I could have handled them, they were only humans." 

Yusuke growled. 

"Yeah, humans with guns! And in case you didn't notice, you're human too idiot." 

Kuwabara huffed but didn't answer. He made his way over to Kushija's body. He sighed and tried to pick him up but was finding it difficult with one hand in a cast and having newly acquired weakness brought about by stress, worry, and lack of training and use of spiritual energy. Finally he gave up and angrily turned to Yusuke. 

"Pick him up!" 

Yusuke looked dumbfounded and the other two members of the reikai were looking doubtful. 

"What for?!" 

"_Because_" 

"Because what?" 

"Because he tried to help me okay?" 

"Really?" Yusuke said dryly. 

"Yes, so just put him somewhere comfortable okay?" 

"Fine. You and your stupid honor code." 

"It's** not** stupid." 

"Yeah yeah" 

Yusuke bent over Kushija before picking him up and heaving him onto one of the couches. Meanwhile Kazuma was writing and thank you note and apologizing at the same time. Kurama was looking confused, Hiei....well it was hard to tell with Hiei, he was either bored, angry, or constipated. Kazuma looked up into their quizzical faces. He shrugged embarrasedly, cheeks tinged pink. 

"What? It's a thank you note." 

Yusuke sighed exasperatedly and Hiei 'hn'-ed. 

The boys found their way out of the warehouse unscathed. Kuwabara was a little jumpy and nervous. 

"So...." 

"So? We should probably take care of your father huh?" 

"Uh....I gue- wait, what did Koenma say anyway?" 

"Well Idiot," It was Hiei talking. "He said that your father wasn't on file and therefore he can't do anything about it." 

"Well, he did say that we should give him what's coming to him, if that's any help...." Kurama trailed off. 

Kazuma looked alarmed. 

"You told him everything?" 

Kurama nodded, a little ashamed. 

"Oh come on guys, lighten up. It's not like Kuwabara hasn't been beaten up before. It's not exactly a traumatic experience for him. I mean, he's practically my punching bag." 

"Yusuke, you should be more sensitive. Having a parent treat you cruedly is always an emotionally damaging experience." 

"Wait a minute. You guys are doing this because you think _I_ am emotionally damaged?!" 

"Idiot. Maybe he beats you because he's trying to make you stronger." 

"Shut up Shrimp! I don't see how you guys would know. You just think I'm a cry baby coming to whine for help! He put me in the hospital!" 

"Yeah and Toguro almost killed you but you can let that slip?" 

"Shut up Urameshi! You know what?! I don't need your help!" 

"Stop being stupid, okay? We said we'll help you." 

"I said forget it. I don't need your help." 

"Kuw-" 

"No, I'm going home." 

Kuwabara turned on his heel and quickly left the three behind. He shouldn't have been so rash..... 

"Urgh! I'm so stupid!" 

Kuwabara stopped and looked around hesitantly before turning and going in the opposite direction from his apartment. He didn't want to go home..... Not to Jay. 


	12. Keiko

Chapter 12 

Kazuma sat heavily down on a bench. He had made his way to the park he and Eikichi had spent the night in. Well, most of the night. 

He sighed. He was angry with himself. He knew he shouldn't have stormed off like that....what a stupid fight. The worst part was now he didn't have any way to protect himself from Jay at all. He tried rationalizing that Jay just wouldn't bother him like that anymore, but....... 

Kazuma figured he should have gone somewhere populated, maybe go play pachinko or something. After all, Jay must sense him, right? After all....... Jay was where he had most likely gotten his high spirit awareness. This thought made Kazuma nervous. Jay had been waiting for a chance to get him alone......up until now he didn't have many opportunties, but now...... 

Kazuma nervously glanced around because, after all, he couldn't sense Jay's spirit energy. Kuwabara wondered if team Urameshi would ever forgive him. They probably would, but not for a while.....by then it'd be too late. Kazuma sighed sadly and tears started rolling down his cheeks and he willed himseldf to stop. Maybe that's all he was.....maybe he did belong to Jay....maybe he shouldn't try to fight it. 

All these thoughts made Kazuma cry all the harder. If only those thoughts wreen't true! He justed wanted to be safe, away from Jay. Everything could have been fine if Jay hadn't come back. And now Keiko knew too. He hoped she wouldn't tell anyone, it'd be too hard to face anyone ever again if she did. 

While contemplating these thoughts, Kazuma missed the shadow that passed over him and the eyes watching hungrily from the dark trees. 

"Hello Kazuma." A cool, smooth voice said. To Kuwabara's ears, it couldn't have sounded more sinister. 

(Team Urameshi at Yusuke's house) 

"Idiot! I can't believe he's so stubborn, and not only that! I can't believe he went with that guy without us!" 

"Yusuke, I'm sure if you calm down-" 

"Calm! Think of what could have happened! He's a big stupid ugly idiot!" 

Yusuke finally sank down onto the couch after letting out his frustration. Hiei 'hn-ed' in agreement with Yusuke. Kurama was trying to get them both under control. 

"I'm sure if we go find him and we all apologize, everything will work out okay." 

Yusuke growled something suspiciously sounding like 'fine'. Hiei turned away from them, staring out the window. Kurama sighed and was about to get up when there was a knock at the door, several actually. They all looked each other. Hiei let out a small breath. 

"The human." 

However, it was the wrong human. It was Keiko. She looked surprised to see them all at first, well - except for Yusuke, after all, she had come to see him. Finally she noticed something. 

"Where's Kazuma?" 

It was Yusuke's turn to look confused. 

"Oh, you mean Kuwabara." 

"Yeah.....so where is he?" Keiko looked panicked for a second. "He's not with his father....is he? IS HE?!" 

They all stared at the frantic Keiko, confused. 

"Uh...I don't think so..." 

After Yusuke's answer, Keiko quickly calmed down. 

"So where is he then?" 

"Well...we got into a fight and he ran off..." 

"What?! He could be anywhere! He have to find him! NOW!!" 

They all sweatdropped, minus Keiko. Finally Yusuke copped his familiar cocky attitude. 

"He can take care of himself." 

"No, he can't. You saw what his dad did. He put him in the hospital and-" 

"So what? I've given him worse beatings than that." 

"What?! How could you be so mean!" Keiko glared at him a while until her anger faded and was once again replaced with sadness for Kuwabara. 

"But...it's different Yusuke. You don't understand, we just have to find him." 

"What do you mean different?" 

Keiko blushed faintly and opened her mouth to speak. Then closed it. She finally spoke. 

"I promised him I wouldn't tell." 

"You mean he told you something before telling me? His best friend?" 

Keiko glared. "Best friend who beats him up?" 

Yusuke scowled. "Well? What did he tell you?" 

Kurama and Hiei watched the exchange quietly, afraid to get on the war path. Keiko was silent for a while. 

"Keiko, I am not going to find him unless you tell me what he told you." 

"He....he never meant to tell me even." Yusuke was quiet and Keiko lost her patience. 

"Fine! You want to know, I'l tell you." 

Author's Note 

As you can tell I never finished the chapter, I thought I'd put it up anyway though. 


	13. Just an author's note sorry!

Oh MY Fans! Please forgive me! I do plan to finish this but I'm such a horrible writer! So here's what I plan to do (if you even care).

1. Anyone who wishes to can finish the story for me (please let me now so I can read the rest of the story!). Label it Kazuma - chapter thirteen in the summary or something. Just a suggestion though.

2. Secondly, I have decided I am going to write one fanfiction (one-shot) or chapter to a fanfic everyday. Send me plot bunnies please! Only if you want to of course...

3. Good news - I will finish the story, bad news - it might take until next year. Just think though, maybe you can get other peoples versions of the ending! Then you can pick the one you like best, ne? That's smart, right?

So once again, THANK YOU ALL. Also, I will be posting a new story everyday and I'll always dedicate it to someone (yay!). So, thanks for your patience and sorry for wearing it thin!


	14. Losing Faith

"Kazuma's father doesn't just beat him up...he..." Keiko suddenly looked up, sad and angry, "You know what Yusuke? You don't deserve to know. You treat him so badly. All of you do. I don't know what you said to him but you were obviously being a jerk. I won't tell you. But you're welcome to come help me find him."

And with that Keiko was out the door. After a moment, Yusuke followed her, grumbling, Kurama and Hiei trailing behind him.

"Stupid Kuwabara...why can't you ever take care of your own problems?"

Kuwabara was very pale. And bloody. And weak, for that matter. He made himself go limp just as Jaybegan toslice up his side through his school uniform with something sharp and bright. Something alot like spirit energy.

When something was cutting that deep...It hurt worse if you fought it.

"Yusuke, why don't you and Hiei go quickly and find him? I wish to talk to Keiko privately for a few moments. It would be quicker if you went on ahead."

Hiei just 'hn'-ed,as usual. WhileYusuke nodded his agreement silently. It was obvious he feltalittle guilty.

Once Hiei and Yusuke took to the trees Kurama caught up with Keiko.

"Keiko, would you mind if I spoke with you for a second?"

"No, we have to find Kazuma right away."

Even though Keiko sounded rather urgent Kurama pressed on.

"I've sent Yusuke and Hiei ahead."

Keiko glanced back to notice that they were in fact, gone. She sighed.

"What would you like to speak with me about?"

"Before I make my request I would like to assure you that I have only Kuwabara's best interests in mind. However, if we are to help him it would be very useful to know why he is so...despondent lately. You seem to be the one closest to him at the moment. I was hoping you might share your thoughts with me."

"I promised him I wouldn't tell but...there's no other way, is there? I either tell you and help him or honor his requests, keeping my word and have him destroyed."

"Would you rather save him and have him be angry at you or keep your word and lose him forever?"

"It's not that simple."

Kurama nodded.

This made her feel a bit better about her decision. Kazuma would be devastated...

"I sense ...energy, over there. I can't be sure it's his."

Yusuke nodded in response. The unspoken part lingering between them, 'it's too weak.'

"Let's hurry this up."

Finally there was nothing left of Kuwabara's school uniform to cut. It was completely shredded and stained with blood.

Kuwabara coughed weakly as Jay dragged him to his feet. He felt so weak...Kazuma was powerless to stop Jay's armsfrom snaking around his waist. Kuwabara couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. The last thing he felt was Jay's heated alcohol breath against his lips.

If he had stayed conscious a moment longer he may have heard two shocked gasps and someone calling his name.

AN: Don't kill me. Please. Finally I am updating! And yes, I will be updating again SOON. Soon people, soon! Thank you for your reviews, patience, and kindness. Please don't flame me (why would someone do it only on the twelfth chapter?). I do have an idea of what is going to happen next. And also, did anybody read the other version of this story? Or did that other naughty (just kidding) author no post it? 'cause it was awesome.

It took off where I left off. I was supposed to post it but then I figured they would and I got lazy...yes, I suck.

Sorry it's so short!


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